Halloween With the Yankees

This shit's pretty funny (and oddly true):

Speaking of Halloween, here are a few costumes that might help the Yankees next season…
Alex Rodriguez as a
Zombie
Back from the dead. Practically unstoppable. Devouring all in his path.
Curtis Granderson as
Frankestein’s monster
Pieced together using this year’s home run total, last year’s success against lefties, 2010′s playoff numbers, 2008′s diminished strikeout total and 2007′s speed and batting average.
Derek Jeter as a
Skeleton
With all of his bones perfectly intact.
Mark Teixeira as
Superman
Remember when Teixeira could do it all? Hit for average, hit for power, play world-class defense and produce like a perennial MVP candidate with no health concerns – the Yankees would love to see Teixeira in that costume again.
Andy Pettitte as
Justin Timberlake
Young star in the 90s. Reinvented himself. Still wildly successful today.
Russell Martin as
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Two sides of one man: The calm and composed catcher on defense, plus the potent offensive threat at the plate.
Mariano Rivera as a
Ghost
Frightening as ever, returning to haunt the American League one last time.
CC Sabathia as a
Jack-o’-lantern
Sure he’s been cut open, but why shouldn’t that make him even better?
Ivan Nova as a
Pirate
Literally, a Pirate. After a straight-up trade for Andrew McCutchen.
Robinson Cano as a
Baseball writer
Who needs a high-paying contract? An eight-year deal making the big league minimum sounds awfully good to me! If Cano would just pretend to not be a superstar for one night, the Yankees might get their dream extension with their best all-around player.
Hal Steinbrenner as
Kim Kardashian
Spending money at will. Consequences be damned.