The Future GOP

From what I can tell, the GOP's solution to righting their own course after last week's election is to suddenly become as much like the Democrats as possible in order to win elections again. Of course, they'll still hafta call themselves Republicans, since god forbid they say "fuck it, let's just do what the Democrats do", which Burger King FINALLY had the brains to say re: McDonald's. But they won't, since of course identity politics means we start with titles and work back from there. As I wrote brilliantly almost four years ago:

What's annoying about this little speech is that instead of looking at how she thinks about things Meghan McCain doesn't say "hey, maybe I'm actually a Democrat." Instead, she calls herself a Republican and then works her way back from there. You can't be a dude who fucks other dudes but claims not to be gay cause you call them "women." "I'm a Republican but cool with gay people." Hey, you know who isn't? Republicans!

Before too long the GOP will see loosening up on hating gays as an easy way to squeeze back a few more votes; they'll say "see? look at us, so progressive!!" and expect everybody to stand up and applaud.

Hey, if you hate gay people and think they should have no rights, fine. That's you. But the point is, I'm less interested in seeing people pretend to embrace certain things as a course of winning elections than I am that the number of people who think like that becoming fewer and fewer until they've completely faded away. Almost by definition the GOP cannot be "progressive;" yet we had an election in November that showed that the majority of us are. Being a Democrat or a Republican isn't something you choose because you like the uniforms - and clinging to one may mean you're only slowing down progress that you yourself are actually in favor of.

And yes: I'd still bang Meghan McCain.