Bagz of Food

The Red Cross is taking a bunch of shit for delivering a trash bag of burgers and then another bag of buns to feed Hurricane Sandy victims:

On Monday, volunteers at the makeshift relief center on Beach 96th Street said a Red Cross vehicle dropped off a trashbag of cooked burgers, and another trashbag full of buns. "They told us that if we didn't take them, they were going to throw them out, so we handed out as many as we could," said Matt Calender, one of the organizers of the relief effort on 96th Street. "But this is the only time the Red Cross has dropped anything off to us—we already have hot food, why are they just arbitrarily dropping off hot food? With all their resources, isn't there a safer, cleaner way of doing this? The hamburgers were warm, who knows how that's affecting the plastic."

I guess I don't understand the problem, since that's how I was fed in kindergarten:

The other thing I remember about kindergarten was how we were fed. We didn’t have “normal” lunches; every day at lunchtime we’d sit down and one of the teachers would haul out a big hefty bag. “Ohhhh, what do we have today??!!” she’d coo, with all of us hanging onto our seats. She’d open it up and Oooooohhh!! Peanut butter crackers! Or rolls. Whatever if was, it was a Hefty bag filled with one thing. Very strange. Not especially flattering either, throwing food at us like we’re little pigeons. Though actually I guess we’d be big for pigeons. Huge, literate (some of us) pigeons blinging out knit shirts with sailboats. Mmmmmmm. Would been great if one day she reached into the bag and pulled out a live rabbit. "Get the boning knife, we're eating meat today!"

So quit crying, you fucking pussies. Hey, free burgers!