The Santa Quickness

Nerds HERE figure out how fast Santa would hafta go to deliver all them fucking toys:

Mr. Claus’s sleigh would need to travel at a whopping average speed of 5,083,000 mph. Silverberg argues that the feat is possible because the sleigh would have to travel 130 times more slowly than the speed of light, which is 300 million meters per second, or 669,600,000 mph. Because something already moves that quickly, it would be difficult, but not impossible, for Santa to travel at 5,083,000 mph.

Of course you're reminded of the great Family Guy scene:

Stewie: Alright that's the last of the blood, go check on the other kid.

Brian: What other kid?

Stewie: Johnny, the one who's getting the bat.

Brian: (runs upstairs) Stewie there's only one bedroom up here.

Stewie: What? Do you have a brother?

(The girl shakes her head no)

Stewie: Well then who the hell is Joh-? Oh my god we're in the wrong house.(Sound of sirens) Dammit we tripped the alarm Brian the cops are coming let's go!

Brian: What? We're just leaving, like this? What about not wanting to ruin  Christmas?
Stewie: It's already ruined - this was ONE house, and we've been here for an hour and a half!!! It's gonna be light in 6 hours and we hafta deliver toys to the whole rest of the world!! And there's two apartment buildings on this block alone!