Happy Birfday Op!

Of course we celebrate by looking back at Op's birfay on Xmastime through the years, some of which might have to do with him (but prolly not). Here's 2009:

Corporate Burping 

While in an office, I've had to switch my caffeine drink-of-choice from Diet Coke to coffee. Normally I can drink gallons of DC with no noticeable effects. But for some reason, whenever I'm in a very quiet office within 5 feet of a woman and drink Diet Coke, I spend hours constantly emitting tiny, hopefully-only-noticed-by-me burps. It's not one loud BRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK, it's a constant fucking torrent of inside mouth burps. Unreal. Drives me fucking insane. If I'm here for six hours, I spend roughly 350 minutes thinking "oh shit...did she hear that?...oh man, she must've heard that one, that's disgusting...oh god, is this going to stop sometime today..." and on and on. Fucking christ; it's like I'm a fucking bat sending out sonar signals. Wtf. I'm like the goddam 20 year-old family dog that farts constantly. 

Sigh. This is what I've become since being released into corporate America.