Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Happy Birfday!

Today is JFK's birthday, which made me think of three things:

1) There have been more years from his death to the present than there were from his birth to his death.

2) How could it be I never noticed his initials could stand for Just Fucking Kidding?

3) Were it not for one day in Dallas, there'd be a 96 year-old dude hobbling round getting more ass than me today. Dodged a bullet with that one, didn't I?






"That's not funny."








And of course, there's the Xmastime/Kennedy phenomenon:
As today is the 42nd anniversary of JFK's death, the inevitable Xmastime/Kennedy "unexplainable coincidences" chatter begins. Such as:

1) Kennedy went to Harvard. Xmastime went to Longwood, which a professor once snidely called "The Harvard on the Appomattox." hmm. pretty bad when professors are making fun of the very college they teach at. Yes, I chose to end that sentence with a preposition, Professor Fuckface.

2) Kennedy was a well known womanizer, using his movie-star looks and incredible wealth to bed a slew of ladies. Xmastime is a local legend with the ladies, using enough vodka to kill a bear and a strong back to bed a slew of ladies.

3) Kennedy wrote "Profiles in Courage" at the age of 38. Xmastime has publicly proclaimed that he hopes to make it to 38.

4) Kennedy and Xmastime, both Catholic. What are the odds of that???!!

5) Also, both white. I'm freaking out as I type this.

6) Kennedy was born in Massachusetts. Xmastime's parents were born in Massachusetts. That makes 3 people who: can't pronounce an "R", can't drive, and repeat themselves over and over when they talk. Great.

7) Kennedy's defining moment was the Cuban Missle Crisis. Xmastime once had a Cuban sandwich on Bedford Avenue with David Bielanko...who was on an album with Bruce Springsteen...who was in a movie with John Cusack...who once shit in Kevin Bacon's mouth.

8) Kennedy was Irish. Xmastime is blacked out right now.

Eerie, eerie stuff I know.

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