How to Piss off Every New Yorker

The amount of time until my oncoming train arrives is directly proportional to the wits of the person in front of me at the Metrocard kiosk. For example 10 minutes away = savvy, knowledgable city kid who gets his transaction done in about 45 seconds; 60 seconds away = Kanye West completely retarded 3 foot-tall crippled Chinese lady with an eye patch who doesn't speak English and thinks she's playing Donkey Kong. Aaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!! - XMASTIME

Ugh. The metrocard thing.