Suicide Isn't Painless

Sully has been discussing suicide, including the VICE photo shoot thingee:

And while time doesn’t necessarily lessen the grief of suicide, it’s perhaps especially distressing that some of the people Vice depicts died very recently — [Iris] Chang in just 2004 — leaving still-living loved ones behind. These weren’t fictional characters; these were real women, who lived and struggled and died, and to treat their lowest moments as fodder for a silly fashion spread is shameful and sad.

 Thoughts on the subject from a certain sexy somebody's unpublished novel:

As I was paralyzed on my bed in my room, thoughts of suicide came to me.  Maybe I’d just kill myself, and then everybody would stand around at my funeral shaking their heads in admiration about how honorable I’d been, ending my life before I became someone else’s problem.  “What a class act,” they’d all say as they toasted glass after glass to me.  Or, even better, maybe everyone would be so grief-stricken with guilt they’d spend years wondering what terrible things they had done to make me do such a thing, other than living their own lives as fully as possible and being perfectly nice to me.  It’d be like my dreaming that if I ever did become a success, I’d tell everybody to go fuck themselves since they never believed in me, even though they’d never done or said anything even remotely close to insinuating such a thing.

But of course death’s permanence meant I wouldn’t be able to stroll through my own memorial service and accept all the pats on the back I’d be hoping for; besides, even in my depths of wallowing I knew I’d never have the guts to do the right thing, that for once my incredible lack of initiative would be useful to my own survival.  Also, I was pretty sure that the day after I killed myself would be the day beautiful woman all around the globe would collectively announce they were only having sex with fat, broke drunks.  My main reason for living was hoping that the next moment would offer a reason to live. 

All this awful realization, just because of a little kid.  I might have been completely miserable before Chuck, but at least I was happy.