Goodbye Dumb Shit, Hello Other Dumb Shit

Apparently Michael Savage will take over Sean Hannity's time slot on some radio stations, which is basically polishing a turd. A coupla years ago I found myself listening to right-wing radio for the unintentional comedy and Savage was a favorite, thanks to his spending so much time remind the listener how smart he is by....repeatedly telling them so:

It looks like Michael Savage is banned in the UK for fermenting hatred. I wish he was banned here - not because of his fermenting hatred but because he spends about 80% of each show explaining to everybody that he is the most educated person in the radio, always with "look, I'm not boasting, it's just a fact, it's something you have to accept, that I'm incredibly smart, I'm not boasting" and on and on and on. It's kind of
douchbaggy charming, actually. Last night apparently he spent the first hour doing "something that's never been done before" ie he did the hour as satire. Okay. Then after informing us that that's what he he had been doing, he went on to say that in listening to a recording of it during the break he realized that he had kind of failed because his amazing education and raw intelligence did not allow him to speak without being 100% correct on all things. Brilliant. Reminds me of when I apologized to a chick for my dick being too big and my lovemaking TOO amazing to give her the Big O. 

I have no idea where Seanzarelli will be spewing his bon mots of buffoonery. But I still have plenty of ideas for him:

I’m worried he’s gonna run out of worthless shit to talk about, and since Hannity's my good buddy I thought I’d help him out and suggest some hot topics:

“Buttered Toast: The Devil’s Oven Mitts?”
“Hubba Bubba vs. Bubble Yum: The War You Don't Want Your Children to Sign Up For”
“Was David Silver THE Worst White Hip Hop Artist of All Time?”
“English Muffins: You Call That ‘Fork Split’?”
“The Sweet Potatoes Fad - Anyone Else Not Getting This?"
“The Little Fried Bits That Fall off the Fish at Long John Silvers”
“Hating the Troops: This Generation’s Moon Landing?”
“Is Ben Franklin Still Our Best President?”
“Daylight Savings Time...AGAIN, the Democrats Refuse to Spend”
“We Can Spray Whipped Cream from a Can, But Not Mayonnaise? Are We in Red China?”

This’ll get you started buddy, lemme know if you need more!