Reason to Be Sad du Jour

Social media wasn't really around for George W. Bush's presidency.

Gotdam. Pretty sure the pure memeage (Trademark!) would've broken the internet.

2. Think of all the memes that could have been!

I sure posted a lot about him; here's a random post with him:

I love how now they list Bush’s vacation as a "working vacation." Isn’t that pathetic? He’s such a fucking loser, no-count president that he has to insist "seriously guys, I’m gonna be working! Camon, I mean it! I’ll keep the fax turned on, I swear!!" cause he knows we’re all rolling our eyes at what a fucking goof-off he is. Christ. Wonder what The Decider will come up during this Brush Clearing Season. Hey, maybe as he’s clearing brush and "mulling things over", he can get another visit from God, like when God told him to invade Iraq?

GOD: Hey, uh…George, it’s me.

W: Whoa! The brush is talking to me!! It's a Christmas Rapture Miracle!! I KNEW the Jews were wrong!! Hello, Brush!!

GOD: George it’s me. God. In heaven.

W: Mr. Reagan? Oh my gosh, it’s you! Why, I-

GOD: It’s me, dumbass!! God!! G-O-D!!

W: oooohh, yeah. Hey!

GOD: Listen, could you stop running around saying that I told you to invade the Middle East? You’re embarrassing me.

W: But…but you did!! You said "G-Rock, you need to invade Iraq and spread democracy throughout the Middle East!" By the way, G-Rock is the nickname you gave me. Hey, did you know our names both start with the letter "G"? wow!

GOD: Okay, first of all, I never gave you a nickname. Period.

W: Sure you did. G-rock!

GOD: No. I didn’t. You know how I know this?

W: Did…did God tell you?

GOD: Because I’ve never spoken to you!!

W: Sure you did. I was clearing a bunch of brush and you spoke to me. And you said that I was doing the work of Jesus, and he’d come back and join our fight against the gays. And New Yorkers.

GOD: Why on earth would I tell you to invade the region that includes the Holy Land, and then turn it into a democracy like yours, a government which was built upon the very idea of not including, you know, ME? Why would I recommend that, of all things?

W: Just like the Bible said, and I quote: "Were I whence I be, when I whence to came, glory to all upon where were I whence."

GOD: And do you really think Jesus, if I did send him back, would hang out with YOU guys?

W: I had Dick make some bumper stickers: "Jesus Loves Me – Just ask Him, He’s Right Here!"

GOD: You didn’t notice that in the Bible, Jesus tended to hang out with the poor, the diseased, the outcasts?

W: Well, in the beginning, sure. I just assumed that buy the end, he was rich and cool, running things, right? I mean, look who HIS dad is!

GOD: You…didn’t read the whole thing?

W: Dude.

GOD: Riiiight…listen, anyways, like I said. Please stop telling people I’m behind this mess, okay?

W: Can I tell people you came up with the Dubai Port deal?

GOD: You’re not a smart man, George.

W: No. No I’m not

GOD: But you do keep things interesting.

W: Hey, can you tell which one is Mary-Kate and which one is Ashley?

GOD: Goodbye, George

W: You mean "G-Rock"!

GOD: And quit praying for "Weekend at Bernies III." Ain’t gonna happen.

W: G-Rock!

GOD: Bye

And of course, there are times he is truly missed:

Watching Obama right now reminds me what the best thing about George W. Bush as president was: putting him in front of a live camera. Right? He was like whenever Eric Dickerson got the ball handed to him, there's no WAY you're tearing your eyes from the screen, cause you know at any second he's gonna go all the way - mangle words in ways you didn't think possible, then light off a string of "what the fuck is he saying?" sentences before trying to make a joke that feels like someone cut one in church. Seriously, if Bush had become the first president to drop the n-word on live tv during a presser, can you honestly say you'd be S H O C K E D? He made blithering oblivion fun to watch. And it was FUN. Oh, everything he said was absolute bullshit, but you also know that if you took 60 seconds to walk to the fridge in back there was at least a small chance that you'd find him onscreen doing shadow puppets, having said "aw, fuck it" with a broken bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 over his own head.

Sigh. We miss ya, Dubyanuts.