Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Calling Bullshit du Jour

People...well, people on MSNBC's Morning Joe, anyway...are starting to wonder if antibacterial soap is bullshit.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you call this bullshit six years ago?"

OF COURSE I FUCKING DID.
I'm amused that the hand sanitizer in my bathroom claims that it kills, and I quote, "99.99% of germs." Really? If...if you know there's still .01% out there, why not kill them too? You seem to know the exact amount of germs that are left, so why would you stop there? "But Xmastime," you say in your Ironhead Heyward (RIP) voice from those soap commercials, “it's a kind of disclaimor for any possible lawsuit."* I guess in the case of someone dropping dead from using the stuff, their lawyers can step in with "oh sure, well, obviously they got it from the 0.01% of germs we didn't kill, as we clearly stated on the bottle, so..." Then why call it "sanitizer" in the first place? Nothing can be KIND of sanitized, can it? It either is 100% or it isn't at all, no? Fucking hand sanitizer. The Ryan Seacrest of the toilette.  




*The first-ever Ironhead double-dip in one post? This is indeed a day to celebrate, people!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Exactly. Amazing that you already knew this. Here are some facts to know if you don't already. Fact: The skin and mucous membrane is covered with good germs which protect against most infectious bacteria. Fact: Not only are these hand sanitizers deadly to ALL good bacteria which occupy the hands as a first defense against infection, but these chemicals are absorbed into the system and ironically are very bad for the immune system. Fact: Hand-washing with basic soap and warm water followed by use of a paper towel is the single most effective way to prevent the transmission of disease causing bacteria, To kill resistant bacteria on surfaces, wear gloves and use a 10% bleach and water solution. Fact: The skin and mucous membrane is covered with good germs which protect against most infectious bacteria. Bleach also breaks down the immune system so avoid use without gloves, and always avoid fumes. Fart fumes are less caustic.