Saturday, April 19, 2014

Faaaaaaaaaaaaagz!

I stumbled upon this Bill Maher bit from 20 years ago: http://youtu.be/8-chbRF8z-c?t=30m42s

And it's exactly (albeit with more judgement, it being the mid-90s) what I wrote back in 2006:
5) And while I’m thinking about gay sex, how come we have so readily accepted prison sex? We think of a prison we shrug our shoulders and think ah well, dudes fucking dudes, it’s just the situation they’re in. What is this? These dudes can’t beat off like normal people? Hey, let me tell you something, I’ve gone some LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG stretches without getting laid, and at no point did I start thinking about fucking guys. How does this happen so quickly in prison? Granted, I haven’t taken a shower with 50 dudes in a while, but still. I think maybe part of the male machismo says that we have to prove ourselves as pussyhounds AT ALL COSTS; ie we have to make it look like we’re freaking out over not fucking chicks, that we’re such studs that we’re simply not used to not getting laid every day, and that transcends our not being, you know…attracted to the thought of having a dick in our mouth. Just a theory. I mean come on, you’re in prison cause you held up a 7-11 with a water pistol to get money for some Air Jordans, am I REALLY supposed to believe that on the outside you had a constant stream of amazing trim? Camon. Just once I’d like to hear about prisoners talking like this:
a. Prisoner A: hey Jerry, how long you been here now?
b. Prisoner B: fricking 10 months.
c. Prisoner A: oh man, 10 months with no pussy? Damn!
d. Prisoner B: you know, it hasn’t been a big deal. I jerk off 6 times a day, just like back home. Hey, you done reading that?

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