More Love Actually

I can never decide whether I actually like Love Actually or just like hate-watching it, but this review of it it awesome. Here's my 5 favorite lines:

This old French woman shows up at Chateau de Firth and is like, "Here, I found you a lady. I'm literally giving you this lady." Score! Free lady! The lady is named Aurelia and she only speaks Portuguese, and so does her entire family, apparently, even though all of them live in France. 

Hugh Grant plays the role of "horny prime minister," which raises the question: What percentage of Americans believe that Hugh Grant literally is the prime minister and/or boy king of the UK? I'll bet you the number is not zero, and that is why we should all probably eat poison.

Back at Hugh Grant's office, where Hugh Grant does his man-politics, Hugh Grant is like, "Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?" Then Natalie walks in with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit....Her. That woman. That's what you have to screw.

Liam Neeson and Jojen Reed relax and watch Titanic to regroup, because that's something middle aged men and little kids do together. Jojen is still totally stumped about the best way to force Joanna to love him against her will. I mean, he's tried everything. He tried staring at her, he tried never ever talking to her, he tried complaining to his dad, he tried watching Titanic...seriously, what is it going to TAKE, Joanna!?

Once the truth gets sorted out, fat daughter says: "Father is about to sell Aurelia as a slave to this Englishman." FIRST SENSIBLE LINE ANYONE'S SAID FOR THIS ENTIRE MOVIE.