WHAT YOU HEAR THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE TIME YOU PLAY TAYLOR SWIFT’S “OUT IN THE WOODS” FOR YOUR 4 YEAR-OLD GODDAUGHTER WHO MAY BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE DATING TAYLOR SWIFT, MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU REPEATEDLY TOLD HER YOU WERE:

"Is that your girlfriend? Are those snakes? Why is she barefoot in the woods? Snakes are gross! Does she have shoes? What’s wrong with her? How come she doesn’t have shoes? Look at my shoes! They light up! Look! Look! Look! Are you looking? Look! How come you never bring her here to see us? She's so pretty. Why is she running? Are those dogs? Are they going to eat her? Are the dogs her best friends? Where’s her jacket? That dress is pretty. Did the dogs eat her? Because they're her best friends! Is she cold, it’s snowing! What’s she saying? Is she talking to you? Where is she? Can she fly? Is she flying? She’s flying! Is she drowning in the water? How’d she get out of the water? Why is she crawling? Why is she crawling in the mud? It’s raining! Why is she crawling in the rain? This is your girlfriend? Did she take a bath? Why can’t she stand up? Is that fire? Are the woods on fire? Are all the trees on fire? Is she okay? Is she on fire? All the trees are on fire is she okay? Why are the woods on fire? What happened to the dogs do you have the dogs? Can I see the dogs?..."