What Would CJ Cregg Do? #wwcjcd

Smart!

This is truly a brilliant move by the White House. Nothing makes the media shrug and say "well, I guess that's that" like cutting off their access.

Either I understand what the word democracy means or Peter King does...

...but there's apparently no way we both do.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I feel like Spartacus had curiously clean & healthy teeth for a fugitive slave from 73 B.C. #starz

I Understand...

...the thirst for power and money. But at some point you're just being a fucking dick.

WTF du Jour

If this isn't an impeachable act then we are truly at a time in our history to be frightened.

I Have to Say...

...this seems like a pretty impossible ask.

Generic Thoughts from Yesterday's 12,118th Viewing of LOVE ACTUALLY

Wait, what day of the week is this wedding? Everybody else seems to be at work.

Yes, one thing I know about weddings is you can insert entire brass sections into them without anyone noticing.

The porn I've recently watched suggests that stand-in actors for blocking is no longer a job.

Hard to believe a middle-aged married father of young children is attuned to the romantic pinings of an office subordinate.

We all love Bill Nyhgh (sp?) but boy this woulda been a great role for a cranky Johnny Rotten.

Ah, 2003...when people would bring you beautiful women to be at your disposal around the house for no discernible reason.

He's no Trump, but Billy Bob Thornton was great as a gross, embarrassing US president you can't leave alone for two minutes without terrible shit happening.

Hey dipshit - the way to steal your buddy's wife isn't by being a dick to her, it's by planting a dead male hooker in their bed as she's on her way home from work and then "being there for her." Camon bro.

If a father and his son's go-to movie during an emotional crisis is "Titanic", I'm not saying the kid will grow up to be gay. But I am saying the father already is.

You can't argue the results but it's hard to believe he would've picked Milwaukee as the first place to hit in America. 

Can't think of a more insulting movie to women than Love Actually. Any female character serves to either pine for a man, be thought of as fat, or be so poor they hafta have orgies with the first guy they see in a bar to keep warm. Sad!




UPDATE: maybe "Cum in My Doggie Dish, IV" was more insulting to women. Maybe.

 Couldn't he have just quietly handed her a fucking note? Like a bank robber to a bank teller? Wf.

Yes, I too remember being a 10 year-old and my father excitedly wanting to drive me all the way to the airport so I could tell a girl I didn't think knew my name that I loved her.

This little kid Sam has a curiously good grasp on airport layouts.

J'ACCUSE: Richard Curtis borrowed Hugh Grant's "oh, the place really is just around the corner" car scene from the Only Fools and Horses when Rodney met Cassandra.
https://youtu.be/fO43avwe5Ws

You're Welcome du Jour

I was gonna make a "Colonel Sanders Releasing Book with Portraits of Chickens" joke here but decided to take the high road instead. You're welcome!

In His Defense, He's Right...

...unless you're counting anybody who ever had to think about it for more than 0 seconds throughout the course of human history.

Totally Worth It, I'm Sure

Woof.

Luckily Christie & Giuliani are still eager for the job, so fingers crossed.

Darryl Hammond

He didn't know who I was, but I've written before how much I looked up to Darryl Hammond as a kid. He died last week from ALS, and here's just one of many stories I've seen online:

Because Darryl was so well respected by the players, Joe Paterno often asked Darryl for insights on how best to connect with the team. Joe valued him so much that after that season he offered Darryl a job as a full assistant coach.

But Darryl was still playing Arena Football in the summers. His competitive streak wouldn’t allow him to give that up. While we all tried to change his mind, he explained he couldn’t change who he was.

Through Joe’s disappointment he stated his admiration “I respect Darryl. Few people are honest about who they are and even less are willing to be true to themselves.”

32 Years Ago Today

Bobby Knight famously hurled a chair across the court, and now we seem to have found the chair.

Purdue's Steve Reid was at the line about to shoot the two free throws when Knight grabbed a chair from his bench and threw it onto the floor. It skidded past Reid toward the corner, veering into the photographers sitting on the baseline.

"After he threw the chair," Stuckey says, "I was ready to hand him another one because I was so (ticked) off."

Knight walked out to the thunderous sound of "Bob-by, Bob-by." Reid was given six technical free throws, but the thunder undid the Big Ten's leading foul shooter (95 percent); he missed three of six.

The 30th anniversary of Bobby Knight's tantrum

Wow du Jour

This may have been the single greatest sports year ever.

PBS Pick du Jour

This animated doc about the 1966 UT shooting is spellbinding. Watch it HERE.

Hmmm.

Seems like this would be a good time to hear from all the "forgotten!" folks they yammered about throughout the election. But I guess they're just really, really busy. Oh well.

BREAKING NEWS

Teenager maybe getting laid anytime now.

Wait -

Jessica Rabbit is Ukrainian?

Seinfeldsteen

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Both the "my" and the "insert your own sauce here!" empty space are a tad creepy, I believe.

As someone who once was ashamed to realize he'd gone thru an entire day at the office with a v-neck t-shirt...

...I feel like we should be embarrassed by this.

Conversations with a 7 Year-Old

Her: does every country have a president?
Me: every country has a leader.
Her: who's our leader?
Me: Donald Trump.
Her: can we get a different leader?

#ibelievethechildrenarethefuture

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Looks like Milo Yiannopoulos' job at the White House may come sooner than expected.

This Is Nuts

Every front page of the New York Times.

When Life Imitates Costanza

As it has MANY, MANY TIMES BEFORE.

Only Fools du Jour

Wings Scene du Jour

Brian Hackett: It says here, fifteen percent of the American public would rather watch television than have sex.
Roy Biggins: Fifteen perc... Yeah, yeah, I buy that, yeah. You know, maybe you're... you're too tired, or she's too... what's a nice way to put this? Ugly.
Brian Hackett: The words "too tired" aren't in my vocabulary, and frankly, Roy, I don't think the words "too ugly" should be in yours.

What the...

...is that a saucer in his hand? Was he handed a saucer with a glass of milk? Wtf?

King Louis

I missed this when he did it but it's fucking killing me now  :)

Pizza Wednesday

This is easily the saddest shit I've ever seen.

ANNOUNCEMENT

If you didn't already have a favorite college baseball team, you do now.

Happy Valentine's Day

What with my over the top, bordering on the dangerous luck with the ladies, Valentines Day has always been a big deal for me. Let's take a walk through the years and, starting with 8th grade, see how each Valentine's Day went for our guy Xmastime.

1986: nothing
1987: nothing
1988: nothing
1989: bought rose for a girl I was into and later dated for two years. My first love. Of course by the time it got to her it had died and shriveled up. And that ended up being the highlight of our relationship.
1990: I think I got a keychain shaped like a heart from her. Ring-a-ding fucking ding.
1991: nothing
1992: nothing
1993: nothing
1994: had a girlfriend, but can't remember doing anything special. Sounds like it must have been amazing.
1995: broke up with her, inciting what surely was 4-sleeve Snackwells emergency at Stubbs Dorm.
1996: nothing
1997: nothing
1998: nothing
1999: nothing
2000: nothing
2001: nothing
2002: nothing
2003: nothing
2004: nothing
2005: nothing
2006: nothing
2007: nothing
2008: nothing
2009: nothing
2010: nothing
2011: nothing
2012: nothing
2013: nothing
2014: nothing 
2015: nothing
2016: nothing
2017: nothing as of 4:21pm 

SO You Say It's Valentine's Day...

...prolly a good time as any to update my Match.com profile pic.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Whose charming techniques will you use this Valentines?

Del Boy's or Rodney's? pic.twitter.com/zvv6bnweRD

— Only Fools Reactions (@OFAHReactions) February 14, 2017

Jesus.

.@realDonaldTrump if you deal with them out in the middle of a dinner filled with people who paid for access to you then yes, they will.

— XMASTIME (@XMASTIMEblog) February 14, 2017

"That's average size, right? Camon, tell me it's normal! Say it! Say it!"

Is This the Greatest Slow Clap in British HIstory?

"Oh no, not COURT!!" - Judges running in circles panicking.

The Bad News Isn't All About Trump, Guys

True Confession Time: Oasis Edition.

True confession time: I've always liked Don't Look Back in Anger more than Wonderwall.

Memories. I Have Them.

Oh For Fuck's Sake

 The current administration is officially to the right of Archie Bunker.

More Happy Pizza Day!

Here's me & my goddaughter a few years ago enjoying some of the finest, most authentic pizza you can find. Cough.

Happy Pizza Day!

Celebrate by enjoying ths curiously exhaustive list of the best pizza in every state.

53 Years Ago Today

Beatlemania hit America:

Wha …? These boys were witty. The frost in the lounge started to melt.

“What do you think of Beethoven?”

“Great,” Ringo answered, “especially his poems.”

It went on like that for almost an hour, a spontaneous Abbott and Costello–type routine, with the cynical press corps as willing straight men. Whatever the press expected from these boys, it was completely unprepared for what it got. The Beatles were irresistible; they made great copy.

As everyone prepared to head for the exits, Paul commandeered the mike. “We have a message,” he announced with great significance. The reporters flipped their notebooks back open, as photographers pressed in to get the crucial shot. “Our message is: buy more Beatles records!”

Hmmm.

Looking forward to this quickly become the most interesting Uber ride in the world.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Pretty sure we can all agree Trump's about 3 tweets away from admitting he could really use a terrorist attack right about now.

Sitcom Character Idea:

Kenny, Jesus' overlooked, bitter little brother who starts a religion based on cruelty.

Good Luck Not Watching This Over & Over For the Next 5 Minutes

What Wizard Coulda Possibly Seen This Coming?

Well, This Is Nice

Looking forward to the next touching round of "thoughts & prayers" from these guys.

I Mean WTF Already

When the f is Gold TV gonna be available in America?!?!?!?!!? THAT would MAGA.

In 1968?

Line du Jour

From THIS ARTICLE about The Replacements:

Bob was kicked out of the band, in 1986, for excessive substance abuse and general unreliability, which seems a little like being forced to leave the N.B.A. because you’re too tall.

Crap.

No Matthew McConaughey don't you make me not be able to watch Dazed & Confused!!! Don't you do it Matthew McConaughey!!!!!

Hulu for the Win!

The Right Wing Stuff

Chuck Yeager is still alive? Really?- XMASTIME

93 and still (kind of) kicking:

It is not surprising that Yeager, a 93-year-old white male veteran, might be politically conservative. Demographics is, after all, destiny. But he is a conservative whose life’s work depended on the U.S. government’s commitment to technological innovation and scientific exploration. The lure then was military primacy, safety, and security; but innovation is just a new word for evolution. Survival, then and now, is the aim of science.

How does Yeager feel, then, about a president who is avowedly anti-science? As someone involved in the pursuit of knowledge, is he optimistic about the state of science and how it is valued today? I tried to pose these questions to the general via email. “Read Yeager,” was the response.

Only Fools du Jour

In HIs Defense...

...not once did he ask "hey, why isn't there a White History month?"