Thoughts. I Have Them.

You know you're getting old when you look at the Sonos people in your office are playing and you don't know which is the name of the song and which is the name of the artist.

#WaybackWednesday

"Forgotten" rust-belt workers finally being heard.

Hmm.

Dying to know wtf Obama was doing with an airhorn.

Inspect Element

Oh, Rudy. This makes me sad.

Taxes

Missed Trump's speech but I'm guessing the "move money from Wall Street to Main Street!" bullshit was laid on fairly thick.

#Regrets

Nothing's worse than eating a bunch of bread and only then it occurring to you that you should've toasted it.

Only Fools du Jour

I hate that we in America can't watch the Only Fools and Horses documentary.

Ahead of #StoryOfOnlyFoolsAndHorses at 8pm, here's Nicholas Lyndhurst, @AdilRay & Gwyneth Strong talking about John Sullivan's scripts... pic.twitter.com/lxjHA9Dj23

— Gold (@goldchannel) August 29, 2017

Now This IS Breaking News.

As The Fonz would say...

"Exactamundo."

An All-Time Classic

WTF!!!!!!

Is that a bald spot????!?!?!?!?!

BUT I FORGOT MY TEDDY BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Come On

Hey, somebody's gotta be ready to get the door when Domino's shows up.

Announcements. I Have Them.

If anyone is wondering if Amtrak sells their cheeseburgers at 9:15am the answer is yes, they do.

On Confederate Statues

“We need to erect large monuments so people never forget the ugliness of what happened at this time in history.”

“Right. How about statues of men whipping people they were allowed to own?”

“That’s great, but I was thinking statues of the losing generals magnificently dressed in their impeccable military dress while valiantly brandishing a sabre.”

“Damn, you’re good.” (Dials 1-800-STATUES)

After All

Why be a racist if you can't help a fellow racist out of a jam?

My Monday Morning, Every Monday Morning.

(Someone to someone else)
"How about Game of Thrones last night when-"
(I jump in)
"Whoa whoa whoa, no spoilers - I'm 66 episodes behind!"
(Zero laughs, will try again next week.)

The Best.

This report on the death of Only Fools and Horses creator/writer John Sullivan in 2011 does a great job of succinctly showcasing the genius duality of the show.

Dear Sir:

If you've got a problem with me and find yourself in 1992 then my little brother would like to have a word with your stupid face, tout suite.

Questions. I Have Them.

It's 2017 already - where's my oral history of what a shitshow Rocco Dispirito's "The Restaurant" was?

Elvis Died 40 Years Ago Today

I vaguely remember Elvis' death, mostly I remember my Elvis trading
cards from the country store down the road and my mother for years
afterwards shaking her head, moaning wistfully that no matter how
fat/crazy etc he was by the end, "he never lost that voice." Elvis was
never Chuck or Buddy or Little Richard, but that voice, that voice that
voice that voice. - XMASTIME

AITF du Jour

Archie's attention to detail is an inspiration.

Charlottesville

That moment when you realize you forgot your hoods.

Charlottesville

Starting to have a sneaking suspicion the 2016 election wasn't really about email server management.

Charlottesville

Are we sure they're not simply expressing dissatisfaction with UVa alum Tiki Barber?

Charlottesville

In case you were worried these people couldn't be any whiter, they managed to drag hockey into this shit. Wow.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Has Trump's emboldening of racists hurt jobs in the white hood industry? Sad!

Saturday

Went to Giant and back in 15 minutes and in that time the skies opened up. Came home, my kitchen had flooded. "Oh well," I sighed. "Could be worse - at least I'm not some fucking Nazi in Charlottesville today."

Sat down, couldn't immediately find my Apple TV remote. "WHY OH WHY GOD DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME I HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!!!"

Saturday

Went to Giant and back in 15 minutes and in that time the skies opened up. Came home, my kitchen had flooded. "Oh well," I sighed. "Could be worse - at least I'm not some fucking Nazi in Charlottesville today."

Sat down, couldn't immediately find my Apple TV remote. "WHY OH WHY GOD DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME I HATE MY LIFE AND WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!!!"

Charlotttesville

Great speech, but you don't have to be Jefferson or Washington to be a patriot. Simply being tolerant of others and not waving your guns around at Noodle Company should suffice.

The Best

I could watch Tim Conway leave Harvey Corman out to dry all day on a loop :)

Memories!

Oh For Fuck's Sake

The irony is thick with this one.

Charlottesville

A side note about this weekend we also may wanna consider is why we're perfectly fine with people (well, white people) showing up to play pretend military, with real automatic weapons.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I feel like if you can escape prison using only peanut butter then fuck it, you get to stay free.

Sigh.

My 5 year-old goddaughter after we've played 3 R.E.M. songs: "Can you play music that's good?

North Korea

If fucking Trump gets us all killed before the upcoming season of Curb Your Enthusiasm I'm gonna be PISSED.

Ah, Memories.

Who amongst us doesn't remember the thrill of picking out a Trapper Keeper and .30-30 high-speed lever action rifle before school started? #walmart