Imagine
being the person in training right now to taser Trump when he reaches
for Twitter after Colin Kaepernick wins Time Magazine’s “Person of the
Year” award. Yikes!
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Monday, November 27, 2017
Questions. I Have Them.
Which family member had the job during Thanksgiving dinner of making sure Roy Moore doesn’t try to sit at the kiddie table?
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Almost Uncanny...
Portrait of the Artist as a Pizza Eater
1. Pat myself on the back for deciding to not eat the crusts with each piece.
2. Proclaim “Feeling light as a feather!” with each crust tossed on separate plate.
3. Finish pizza. Make witty remark as waiter whisks pizza pan away.
4. “I’ll just gnaw on this little crust while waiting for the check.”
5. Inhale the rest of the crusts.
6. Spend rest of the night whining to everyone how disgusting I feel.
The End
2. Proclaim “Feeling light as a feather!” with each crust tossed on separate plate.
3. Finish pizza. Make witty remark as waiter whisks pizza pan away.
4. “I’ll just gnaw on this little crust while waiting for the check.”
5. Inhale the rest of the crusts.
6. Spend rest of the night whining to everyone how disgusting I feel.
The End
Thoughts. I Have Them.
I
don't regret not having children, but just once I'd like to yell at a
kid who's left the front door open "hey guess what dummy I'm not trying to heat the
entire goddam neighborhood!!!!"
How to Start a Riot and Burn a Building Down in NYC, Part 1
Hmm.
Pardon My English...
Countdown 48 hours: how will Trump fuck up the pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkeys? Will be amazing 
Friday, November 17, 2017
State du Jour
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Friday, November 10, 2017
Tuesday, November 07, 2017
Good Grief
I'm guessing Junior isn't clever enough to have done this tongue-in-cheek like Marley back in the day.
It's a Dog Eat Dog World
One of the greatest episodes of Only Fools and Horses is the Series 2 finale, A Touch of Glass. In the beginning, Del has these classics:
Ah, genius colliding with genius!
Of course the episode is most famous for it's final scene, generally considered to be one of the greatest in sitcom history.
Del: This is North Korea's finest porcelain. But our two great cultures have a different attitude towards animals. We are both a nation of dog lovers - the only difference is they love to eat 'em! Come on Rodders, get your finger out, we've got a long drive home.And years ago, I added this brilliance to modern culture:
Rodney: Do they really eat 'em?
Del: Would I lie to you? If a North Korean came to live in London he'd think that Battersea Dog's Home was a take-away! No, there's nothing they like more than a nice plate of poodle kebabs.
Rodney: Oh leave it out will yer!
Del: Or a bull terrier pie.
Grandad: Alright Del Boy, that's enough!
Del: Or sweet 'an sour greyhound.
Rodney: Oi! - one more word out of you and I'm gonna be sick on your sheepskin, and I mean it!
Del: Go on, put yer foot down Rodney. I'm starving! I could just go a nice Jack Russell and chips.
Ah, genius colliding with genius!
Of course the episode is most famous for it's final scene, generally considered to be one of the greatest in sitcom history.
Friday, November 03, 2017
The Closer
This particular section from longtime buddy Dave's epic Facebook post on the story of the soon-to-be re-released Marah classic If You Didn't Laugh, You'd Cry:
A few thoughts:
1. Haven’t been paid a dime for my phone solo.
2. Don’t appreciate being accused of drinking beer out of styrofoam like an animal. Who would possibly do this? 4x a week for 14 years? With no money?
3. Can’t wait for this album, was a great moment in time - be on the lookout for it HERE!
Listen to the song below :)
A few thoughts:
1. Haven’t been paid a dime for my phone solo.
2. Don’t appreciate being accused of drinking beer out of styrofoam like an animal. Who would possibly do this? 4x a week for 14 years? With no money?
3. Can’t wait for this album, was a great moment in time - be on the lookout for it HERE!
Listen to the song below :)
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