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Saturday, December 30, 2017

Because It's Been More Than 10 Minutes Since I Bitched About the GOP Tax Bill

Dipshit Republicans love to throw this quote around, but their tax bill shows they aren't even pretending to fear the people anymore.

Businesscow Rides Amtrak

Just found out there is a business class car.

2017 Unthinkable Milestone Achievements

Just told a 6-year old her drawing was awesome...and I meant it.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

If there’s not a video of Garfield singing along to this then I really don’t know what the hell we’re even doing here anymore.

how i SZee the GOP Tax Bill Playing Out


Step 1: average Republican worker thrilled with moderate tax cut. “Praise Trump! Glory to Trump!”
Step 2: starts to notice his taxes rising again while corporate cuts stay the same.
Step 3: realizes he was duped, while GOP fat cats are completely stuffed to the gills with his cash.
Step 4: temporary relief - McRib is back!!!
Step 5: embarrassed at looking foolish, so doubles down: “We need a bigger tax cut for billionaires!
Step 6: watches Brady win another fucking Super Bowl.
Step 7: finds a way to blame Democrats.


Lather, rinse, repeat.

Podcast Alert!

If you like BBC all-time classics like Father Ted, The IT Crowd, Black Books, Count Arthur Strong and many more here’s a brand new interview with the man behind them!

Christmas 1983

11 year-old me learning that one day there will be something called “ice cream cake.”

Recliner du Jour

For those lazy-ass infants who just wanna relax and watch the goddam game.

TFW You Find Out You Hafta Go to Church.


Other Racists?


This is a kid who knows how to just freakin’ relax already and enjoy a goddam Hallmark Channel movie.


“How do I tell this jackass to get the hell away from me?”


ACC Bay-beee!

Absolutely intoxicating for anyone who loves ACC basketball and the players from NYC who helped make it so great.

Fake News?


PARENTING 101

What a parent says: “Do that ONE more time and I’m not dropping you off at _______’s for the sleepover!”

What a parent means: “There is LITERALLY nothing you can do to stop me from dropping you off at _______’s so I can have some peace & quiet!”

A Year in Review

While 2017 may have been a year of great division, I believe we can all come together and agree this was by far its greatest moment.


Xmastime Movie Recomendation

Loving Vincent is a stunning, amazing movie, both in its unique production and its telling of the already-compelling true story of Van Gogh's death. A must-see!

Finally!

Finally some relief for those unemployed Trump supporters frustrated they weren’t being heard.

I Mean Come the Fuck On Already.

He’s been in other fine things but to claim any character other than Sam Malone as your favorite is literally fucking ridiculous.

Gee.

If only he’d been in a position to try & do something about it.

To Be Fair...

...getting corrected by a cast member of The Jersey Shore would normally be embarrassing but in Trump’s defense Vinny was well-known as “the smart one”, so.

TFW You Realize Your Phone Must Be Broken


Somewthing I Learned Today:

Confirmation I will die alone: according to the women next to me at the coffee shop, and I have no reason to doubt them, criteria for getting a girlfriend now includes theoretically being able to treat her & her friends to a trip to Disneyland.

Sigh. Memory du Jour.


Monday, December 04, 2017

On This Day

In 1964: Beatles for Sale is released in the UK:
“No band today would come off a long US tour at the end of September, go into the studio and start a new album, still writing songs, and then go on a UK tour, finish the album in five weeks, still touring, and have the album out in time for Christmas. But that’s what The Beatles did at the end of 1964. A lot of it was down to naivety, thinking that this was the way things were done: if the record company needs another album, you go and make one. Nowadays, if a band had as much success as The Beatles had by the end of 1964, they’d start making a few demands. John once said, ‘We gave the whole of our youth to The Beatles.’” - Neil Aspinall (from The Beatles Anthology, published October 2000)