My Top 10 Only Fools and Horses Episodes

(In chronological order)

BIG BROTHER – the pilot that started it all. Does a great job of quickly setting up the Del/Rodney dynamic, including their dead mother and how they make a living. Also introduces Grandad and, of course, Trigger:

Rodney: We shouldn't have anything to do with them Del. The police are probably looking for them right now.

Del: Tell us the truth, are the police looking for these things, Trig?

Trigger: (pushing the case under the table) No they're not Del, and that's the truth.

Rodney: Why are you hiding it under the table, then?

Trigger: 'Cos you never know when they're gonna start looking for 'em, do you?

SECOND TIME AROUND – really, really funny episode that begins the running joke of Del getting engaged so many times. Great to see Rodney & Grandad team up, and them going to the wrong aunt’s house is John Sullivan 101. Also the first instance of our seeing the sadness of Del Boy wanting to find his true love; tho in this case he can’t blame it on having to take care of Rodney. Pauline was just fucking nuts.

TOUCH OF GLASS – known mostly for the incredible chandelier scene, this episode is great for two other reasons: Del’s endless jokes about Asians eating dogs, and dropping Del into old English blue-blood society . This was a stroke of genius; to be honest it maybe should've happened more often, as it shows Del Boy thinks of himself as being able to easily fit in with high society:

Rodney: They don't wanna know the likes of us do they? 

Grandad: No, they think we're peasants!

Del: Peasants? What do you mean 'peasants'? They may think that you two are peasants! Well come to think that I think you two are peasants! But me, I'm one of them that's accepted anywhere – whether it's drinking lager with the market boys down at Nine Elms, or sipping Pimm's fruit cup at Hendon regatta! 

HEALTHY COMPETITION - great myriad funny scenes throughout, and recalls the pilot when Rodney’s frustrated with Del’s control and tries to break out. Introduces us to Rodney’s best friend Mickey Pearce which begs the question, why the hell is Rodney friends with this asshole? Del fucking them over at the auction is a thing of beauty, as are his later machinations behind Rodney’s back to make him successful which Rodney of course manages to botch.

FRIDAY THE 14th - One of the rare instances of a sitcom in which one of my favorite episodes mostly takes place outside of its normal setting (A Touch of Glass is another). Some great physical comedy, and who wouldn’t pay money to watch Del Boy play imaginary snooker with an ax murderer? The obvious Friday the 13th/Halloween nods are great, as is Grandad's voice of reason:

Grandad: He can't be in two places at once.

Rodney: No, of course not. Oh, he's most probably half-way to London by now.

Del: Yeah, of course he is. He's most probably looking for an empty place up there.

Grandad: Hope he don't find our flat!

STRAINED RELATIONS - obviously notable for being the first episode after Grandad died, filmed mere weeks after Lennard Pearce’s funeral. Opening with a funeral scene is ballsy, and the scene with Del Boy explaining to Rodney why he’d spent the after-funeral reception cracking jokes et al is one of the best in the entire series. Funny, warm episode and definitely a classic.
And of course we’re introduced to Uncle Albert in a great way - the family keeps dumping him off on one another and then moving, probably because of his family name:

Rodney: Del, Uncle Albert only wants to stay for a couple of nights, and get himself sorted out!

Del: He's a Trotter Rodney.

Rodney: We're Trotters!

Del: Yes I know, but we take after Mum in nature. He's from Dad's side of the family! You know what they're like. You offer 'em a cup of tea and they think you've adopted 'em. Look at that time when Dad came round here he wanted to stay 'one' night! Took us nigh on a fortnight to get rid of him!

Rodney: Uncle Albert might not be like that!

Del: Oh leave it out Rodney! You've heard him yourself when he was telling us about that time he came round the Cape of Good Hope, he was three months on the same wave!

DANGER UXD - just another fantastic John Sullivan idea. Even the bits about the tomatoes are laugh out loud funny. Probably the best sight gags of the show’s run. It’s tough to top the Trotters’ reactions to the moment the dolls first blow up but this always gets me, as another little snapshot of Del Boy:

Del: Well, you know where I was last night while you was up at the Albert Hall, head-banging? I was having a drink with the managing director of the Advanced Electronics Research and Development Centre!

Rodney: Didn't that used to be Ron's Cash and Carry?

Del: Yeah, yeah, that's right, but he changed the name. That bloke's come on a bundle in the last few years. That man is at the front of new technological frontiers. He's got a Queen's Award for industry plaque.

Rodney: I know. I was there when you sold it to him.

CHAIN GANG - besides the tons of funny lines, one thing that’s great about this is it’s one of the rare episodes in which Del/Rodney/Albert/Boycie/Trigger/Denzil/Mike are all in scenes together. Even thought they’re basically trying to rip people off with crappy jewelry together, there’s a warmth to it when they’re all in the Trotter flat.

Del: No, you take that Georgie Collis. They only gave him six months to live. He was gutted, weren't he, Trig?
Trigger: Well, upset.
Del: Yeah, then they discovered, of course, that they'd only mixed up his records with another bloke's.
Trigger: Yeah, but the other bloke only had three months to live!

CLASS OF '62 - the other best example of all the characters being in the same scene. The scene where they’re waiting to see who planned the reunion is an all-timer. Del Boy reveling in sticking it in Rodney’s face that he got a fax from “….Rome, or New York!…oh, it’s from Mike down at the Nag’s Head.” Thrilling reveal when we find out who Raquel’s husband is. And Slater being played by the actor they wanted before David Jason for Del Boy turning it down reminds us how amazing luck can be.

Roy Slater: While I was inside, I found Jesus! 

Del: What had they fitted him up with? 

Slater: To be more precise, Jesus found me...round about the time I got a message to say my old man had passed away. 

Del: I know, Roy. I went to his funeral. 

Slater: Thanks, Del. I wish I could have gone. 

Trigger: Why didn't you? 

Denzil: Probably because he didn't have a black suit and a bloody big ladder! He was in nick, Trig! 

Trigger: Yeah, but I thought they let you out for acts of God like funerals and weddings. 

Slater: I applied for temporary compassionate release. My mum wrote to the prison governor... 

Denzil: And he wouldn't let you go? 

Slater: Not after what that old cow put in her letter!

MODERN MEN - Somehow I got it into my head that it was universally accepted that Modern Men was the weakest of the three Only Fools and Horses 1996 episodes, but now I realize it may be the best. The others are great too but this just has so many classic scenes. Suddenly-animal-lover Rodney being relieved to find out Raquel’s fur coat had been bought by Del, meaning it’s fake fur. Rodney unwittingly calling to apply for his own job. And of course the scene below, an incredible showcase of John Sullivan’s effortlessness in mixing drama with comedy. That 1996 Christmas trilogy episodes (which, like almost all of their Christmas specials, didn’t have anything at all to do with Christmas) are still the most-watched sitcom of all-time, and sometimes I wonder how amazing it must’ve been to curl up on the couch for three straight nights and gotten the country’s beloved show back after three years. Amazing.

Raquel: I worked with her when I was in show business. Look at her now, she's about to be in a new James Bond film!

Del: If she can be in a Bond film, so could you. 

Raquel: Oh shut up. Del: No, you could.

Raquel: Don't be silly.

Del: I'm serious. I mean, look at her, she's a dog.

(I'm miffed they cut this where they did, you can't see that throughout the rest of the scene, you can hear Del whimpering offscreen.)