Beto!

Turns out that in his younger days Beto O'Rourke was...a manny!

The young Beto, who graduated from Columbia and fronted a rock band, got offered a free place to live in exchange for looking after the family’s children on weekend. He also had to get up with rugrats, make them breakfast and take them to school. Although he only did it for a brief time, O’Rourke called the job a “great deal."

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you LITERALLY write the book on being a Manny?

Sigh. Yes, faithful readers. Yes I did.

"But unlike you it doesn't look like he ate the goddam kid, you fat fuck!"