Canada Sitcom Update

YESTERDAY HERE I mentioned I was, for the first time, going to give Canadian sitcoms a try. I haven't really even heard of any Canadian sitcoms until stumbling into Marc Maron's podcast yesterday with Brent Butt, who created/wrote/starred in Corner Gas, Canada's most popular sitcom ever. According to him, Canadians mostly just watched American tv. Here's my review of the three I watched:

CORNER GAS - fantastic. The scenery & sarcasm are intoxicating. The characters are just sraight-up funny, and the show enjoys setting up tropes as early as possible to become running gags. Will definitely keep watching this.

NIRVANNA THE BAND THE SHOW - Some funny moments, but way too zany for me. One of the guys was subtly funny, the other was just too much to take. One episode is enough.

WORKIN' MOMS - funny, plus I've always had a massive crush on the main star Catherine Reitman, who also created/wrote the show. The only thing is, there's nothing about it that even remotely hints at it being set in Canada. It could pretty much be in any city in America. And Reitman was born and raised in LA, so....anyway, pretty funny, will definitely keep watching.

Of course when I say I've never watched Canadian tv I'm only partially correct. I got hooked on The Red Green Show while living in Oxford in the mid-90's. From Canadian PBS, Red is a "handyman" who usually resorts to fixing everything with duct tape, "the handyman's secret weapon." Or sometimes he calls it "the universal adaptor." Here's a great clip, enjoy.

Questions. I Have Them.

Even if one of them was Kevin, did Dunder Mifflin Scranton really need 3 accountants?  🤔

“HOW GREAT WAS I CALLING OFF THAT IRAN STRIKE? THAT’S CALLED LEADERSHIP, BUDDY!...HELLO? HEY KID!...LAWN LOOKS GREAT, BTW...”

Wait What The-

A new, cashless Monopoly has what is to me a shocking change:

Other key changes: The maximum number of players was cut from six to four and there are now six fewer properties, no utilities, and no railroads. 

Waiting to hear about this from this dipshit. 😜

ANNOUNCEMENT DU JOUR

Giving Canadian sitcoms a chance tonight, people. Fingers crossed!

This is Mind-Blowing

Thanks, The Beatles!

93. The Yesterday trailer asks, “What if the Beatles never happened?” (February 12)

Andrew Gruttadaro: OK, so: If Paul McCartney doesn’t exist, that means he never makes “The Girl Is Mine” with Michael Jackson in 1982, which means a couple more things. One, that the world never gets to hear him play-fight over a girl (“She told me I was her forever lover, don’t you remember?” says Sir Paul McCartney). But more importantly, if that song never gets made, then Brandy and Monica never remake it with “The Boy Is Mine” in 1998. And maybe Brandy still would’ve reached a high level of fame without that no. 1 hit, but probably not, which means she wouldn’t have been famous enough for her younger brother, Ray J, to ride her coattails. And if Ray J never gets famous, we never get “Sexy Can I.” We never get “Danger smashed the homie.” We never get the Ray J moving hat meme. And ladies and gentlemen, if Ray J never gets famous, he never dates—and makes a sex tape with—Kim Kardashian. And you know what happens if Kim Kardashian never makes a sex tape. It seems obvious to say that the erasure of the Beatles would deeply change the landscape of pop culture, but seriously: The Kardashians maybe don’t exist without the Beatles.

UPDATE: Also, I just realized that if The Beatles hadn't existed we most likely never would've gotten Monty Python's Life of Brian, which features one of my favorite comedic scenes of all time.

Xmastime Memory Lane

I just saw this on Twitter as part of a meme about Elizabeth Warren:

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you call this bullshit in one of your first posts 14 years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers:

Ladies. For the love of Christ. HAVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY READY AT THE COUNTER!!!! Whenever I'm in line to buy anything, I frantically have my money counted out and in my hand, ready to present to the guy before the word "cents" has left his lips. I always assume that if I take more than .0004 seconds to produce payment, the line of people behind me will not even try to hide their loud, exasperated sighs or uttered curse words. Or, maybe some guy comes in from the back and chops my head off, I don’t know. But women are always slightly surprised that the cashier, at the end of said transaction, expects actual money from them. No matter how long they've been in line, they have not even considered getting the money ready. "$16.81" the cashier will say, then there's a slight pause, then the woman will say "oh!" and THEN start digging thru her purse. Christ. AND, to make matters worse, she'll spend another 5 minutes digging around for a penny/nickel whatever to make the change "easier." "$16.81?" oh, hold on, I've got a penny...." and the search begins, so that instead of getting 19 cents back and letting the rest of us actually get on with our fucking lives, we've gotta sit through her frantic search for a penny so that she can get 2 dimes back. Guys don’t do that. We'll throw whatever bills we got up there; whatever change we get back, we get back. But we ain't standing there for 20 minutes rifling through a weeks worth of receipts from Vera Cruz and parking tickets trying to find change, holding up the line.

Mind Blown du Jour

THIS HERE is a pretty silly list of the 100 best tv shows ever, but this note about Cheers jumped out at me for damn sure:

NBC's first choice to play Sam Malone? "Bill Cosby," remembers co-creator Les Charles, 72. "We declined because it would have meant doing the Bill Cosby Show."

I can’t believe, as a huge Cheers and Bill Cosby fan, I have never heard about this until this moment. But Charles was right - it would’ve turned into Cosby being Cosby. The Cosby Show was great but if you go back and watch you can tell how much of it is simply Cosby moseying around riffing as being Cosby. Which was great, but wouldn’t have worked for Cheers’ deep bench of characters.

Only Fools and Horses by the Numbers: Vol. II

A few years ago HERE I rated every episode of Only Fools and Horses. Today, after years of re-watching many, many times, I’ve updated these ratings. Some have gone up, some down, some stayed the same. And as I hadn’t gotten to see most of the Christmas specials back then, I have no previous data on them. They’ll be a separate post. Enjoy!

(Previous rating in parentheses)

SEASON ONE


Big Brother 10 (10)
Go West Young Man 7 (10)
Cash and Curry 4 (4)
The Second Time Around 10 (9)
A Slow Bus to Chingford 8 (7)
The Russians are Coming 7 (6)

SEASON TWO

The Long Legs of the Law 5 (6)
Ashes to Ashes 8 (8)
A Losing Streak 8 (8)
No Greater Love 7 (8)
It Never Rains 6 (7)
A Touch of Glass 10 (10)

SEASON THREE

Homesick 9 (9)
Healthy Competition 10 (10)
Friday the 14th 10 (10)
Yesterday Never Comes 6 (8)
May the Force Be with You 8 (8)
Wanted 5 (6)
Who’s a Pretty Boy? 9 (7)

SEASON FOUR

Happy Returns 10 (10)
Strained Relations 10 (10)
A Hole in One 8 (6)
It’s Only Rock and Roll 5 (6)
Sleeping Dogs Lie 9 (10)
Watching the Girls Go By 6 (6)
As One Door Closes 6 (6)

SEASON FIVE

From Prussia with Love 10 (10)
The Miracle of Peckham 7 (9)
The Longest Night 8 (9)
Tea for Three 9 (9)
Video Nasty 10 (10)
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 7 (6)

SEASON SIX

Yuppy Love 10 (10)
Danger UXD 10 (10)
Chain Gang 10 (7)
The Unlucky Winner Is… 7 (7)
Sickness and Wealth 7 (9)
Little Problems 10 (9)

SEASON SEVEN

The Sky’s the Limit 6 (7)
The Chance of a Lunchtime 8 (7)
Stage Fright 8 (7)
The Class of ’62 10 (7)
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Uncle 10 (9)
Three Men, a Woman and a Baby 8 (10)

NEW SEASONAL RANKING

Season 6: 9.00
Season 5: 8.50
Season 7: 8.33
Season 3: 8.14
Season 4: 7.71
Season 1: 7.50
Season 2: 7.33

PREVIOUS RANKING

Season 5: 8.83
Season 6: 8.67
Season 3: 8.26
Season 7: 8.00
Season 4: 7.71
Season 2: 7.71
Season 1: 7.67

BIGGEST JUMPS

Chain Gang (3) - After I really knew the characters, it became a thrill when most of them were all in the same scenes. Chain Gang and Class of ’62 are the two best examples of this.
A Hole in One (2)  - mostly due to a hilarious opening scene, then at the end revealing Albert had done what he did to try and help buy a tombstone for Grandad.
The Class of ’62 (2) - see above
Who’s a Pretty Boy - if only for Denzil & Mike being introduced in this one episode.

BIGGEST DROPS

Go West Young Man (3)
Yesterday Never Comes (2)
The Miracle of Peckham (2)
Sickness and Wealth (2)
Three Men, a Woman and a Baby (2)

EPISODES THAT MADE THE LEAP TO A 10

The Second Time Around - just an all-round hilarious episode, plus the first time showing some pathos re: Del Boy wondering if he’ll ever find the love of his life.
Chain Gang - see under Biggest Jumps.
Little Problems - classic, classic ending scene of Del watching Rodney get married, knowing thing’s could never again be the same with them.
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Uncle - a so-so episode pulled through in the end by Uncle Albert’s stunning speech about his neighbors during WWII.

EPISODES THAT DROPPED OUT OF 10 STATUS

Go West Young Man (7)
Sleeping Dogs Lie (9)
Three Men, a Woman and a Baby (8)

Not Cool du Jour

Whoa whoa whoa…no need to be dragging Hamburglar into politics - he’s a just a lovable, scrappy wanna-be thief who loves the fuck outta some hamburgers!

Happy Birthday Brian Wilson

There are very few people to whom the term "genius" actually applies, and Brian Wilson is one of them.

Horrible, Prescient Xmastime

Xmastime back in 2011:

They had the kid who caught Jeter's 3,000th hit on during the Yankees game, and since it's Jeter OF COURSE the guy didn't hold the ball ransom for mad $crillah, OF COURSE he simply wanted to give the ball to Jeter, because of how much he's meant to everybody and "Jeter deserves it", OF COURSE the kid's father goes on and on about what a great kid he was, never gave him any trouble.  For fuck's sake, I'm surprised the ball wasn't caught by a basket of puppies who were collecting alms for the poor.

When A-Rod hits his 3,000th, the guy who gets it will somehow use the ball to set up an entire string of children's sweatshops in China, probably ones that produce heroin to sell to kids, and we'll all be enraged at how un-Jeterish A-Rod is.

I'd forgotten A-Rod's 3,000th hit was also a home run, and it turns out I was fucking right:

When the Yankees went to go collect the milestone ball, the fan who caught it, Zack Hample, turned them down.

New York had offered memorabilia in exchange for the ball, but Hample, who has written a book about how to catch baseballs at MLB games, turned them down until a deal was reached in the second week of negotiations.

Fucking hell.

41 Years Ago Today!

Crazy Brain

As you already know, my favorite presidential assassin is of course Charles Guiteau.  And now it turns out his brain is sitting near my apartment:

Guiteau’s brain weighed 50 ounces and looked, for the most part, normal—at least to the naked eye. But under a microscope was a different story:

"Guiteau’s brain looked awful. The outer rind on the surface, the 'gray matter' that controls higher thinking, had thinned to almost nothing in spots. Neurons had perished in droves, leaving tiny holes, as if someone had carbonated the tissue. Yellow-brown gunk, a remnant of dying blood vessels, was smeared everywhere as well. Overall the pathologists found 'decided chronic disease … pervad[ing] all portions of the brain' … Guiteau was surely insane."

Today, portions of Guiteau’s brain can be found at the National Museum of Health and Medicine in Washington, D.C., and at the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia.

Happy Birfday

To Paul McCartney, the only person who ever possibly out-Little Richard Little Richard. :)

My Weekend, Via Instagram

(Click images to enlarge!)

OFAH Instagram Quiz Update

They finally got me...dammit.

Oh Camon, Challenge Me!

A while ago I yawned at the Only Fools and Horses Instagram screenshot quiz, and now I have two more pelts to show. Ha!

Gavin and Stacey Xmas Special Update

Because we can't have nice things, Sheridan Smith, who played Smithy's sister, is apparently being snubbed for the Christmas Special:

Sheridan Smith has confirmed she has been left out of the Gavin & Stacey reunion by ex James Corden. She said she wanted to return as Rudi — sister of show co-creator Corden’s character Smithy — but had not heard anything.

Corden, who began a two-year relationship with Sheridan in 2007 when they first worked on the show, revealed plans for a Christmas special two weeks ago. But Sheridan, 37, was not included in the line-up of stars in the publicity shot.

Oh for fuck's sake. They got along okay after their breakup for the final season, so 10 years later it can't happen? She was only in seven episodes but she crushed it every time. There's simply no reason for this and I hope Corden fixes this.

New Podcast Fave

Interesting podcast on the immortal The Inbetweeners HERE. Part of what I like best if one of the hosts is American, and asks the kind of questions we'd ask a British person (like wtf "sixth form" means.)

Don't know how, but the entire first episode is on YouTube. Watch the rest on Hulu, motherscratchers!

Here We Go HBO

Vulture has ranked every HBO show ever made, so here's my (very brief) thoughts on the ones I've seen.

You're welcome, fans!

The Sopranos - what can you say about The Sopranos that hasn’t been said a million times? Though at the time, I wanted to turn my nose up at it (I was wrong.) Also, their food choices were annoying.

Sex and the City - a show not to be taken seriously; it’s not really good but not really terrible. But if you lived in New York at the time, like I did, watching it every Sunday night was a communal thing (back in the days when there were such things, of course.)

Girls - a junior varsity Sex and the City, a show I’d hate-watch and roll my eyes at but couldn’t bare to miss an episode. Also, liked to watch because a lot of the scenes were filmed in my old neighborhood.

Crashing - super-easy show to watch, fun cameos by comedians far funnier than the merely affable Pete Holmes. Was perfectly fine, when it ended I didn’t miss it. Tho it also opened the door to my discovering New Material Seinfeld.

The Larry Sanders Show - a pure classic that gets funnier as time passes. Insanely great cast and characters as archetypes, and of course our national endearment for Garry Shandling only grows every day.

Togetherness - was okay. Mostly watched because of the insanely hot Amanda Peet.

Tremé - was spell-binding at first (despite John Goodman’s nauseating character and Sean Zahn’s nauseating character that eventually grew on us), then by the last season you realized every episode was the exact same over & over but I still watched. Also: Khandi Alexander. Nom. Nom. Nom!!!!

Curb Your Enthusiasm - nothing to say. All-time classic.

Veep - a great show in which we had to suspend belief that THAT many people were THAT funny 24/7. Final season was okay but a beat slow with the insults and in the end, not really necessary (tho ended with an all-time gut punch.) I want a Richard spinoff!!

Oz - loved this in the beginning. I kinda fell off after a few seasons, a bit too depressing for me - maybe it reminded me a bit much of my old days raping my fellow Aryan Nation brothers in the clink?

Barry - brilliant show made even better by the brilliant Henry Winkler and the character NoHo Hank, one of the funniest new characters in decades.

Six Feet Under - liked this at first but eventually got worn down re: “how much more terrible shit can happen to this family?” Also jarring to remember that it starred a pre-Office Dwight Shrute.

Boardwalk Empire - loved this in the beginning, then lost interest.

Silicon Valley - loved this for a couple seasons until it became an endless loop of ‘OH YEAH they finally made it OH SHIT now they’ve blown it.” Didn’t bother watching the last season.

The Comeback - awful. Tried to jump on the cringe-worthy genre train but was truly unwatchable.

Vice Principals - started out worried it was just gonna be a remake of Eastbound & Down, which it was, but by the end was obsessed with Walter Goggins who was spellbinding. Was at its best when they were way over the top.

Eastbound & Down - iconic. Think it limped to its finish line, but when it was on its game it was truly hysterical. Every dude of a certain generation has rarely gone 6 months without shouting "Kenny fucking Powers!"

True Detective - I don’t even know how I stumbled into watching as it’s not really my genre, but I refuse to believe there have ever been two performances better than Harrelson/McConaughey.  And we’ll just pretend it ended after the first season, please.

Extras - LOVE this show, and was one of the first BBC shows I got to watch before streaming. I wish Darren Lamb and Barry from Eastenders could have a spinoff.

Hello Ladies - Stephen Merchant solo, didn’t dig it at first but every time I’ve returned to it I like it more. Love his character’s stinginess with money.

Hung - I like Thomas Jane ("You're Mickey fucking Mantle!") but don’t remember much, probably didn’t make it ll the way through.

Doll & Em - loved this quiet, small show. And I have a big crush on Dolly Wells.

How to Make it in America - terrible show, tho I watched it because it took place in my neighborhood. Luiz Guzman’s talents were totally wasted on this crap.

Sally4Ever - wanted to like this because I’m a big Julia Davis fan but struggled to keep with it and in the end asked, “what the fuck was the point?”

Divorce - mostly watch cuz it has Lowell Mather and all-time Mrs. Xmastime Sarah Jessica Parker. Second season was funny but I don’t really remember/care where it ended. Will watch Season 3.

Family Tree - like everyone else in the world I love Chris O’Dowd but for the life off me I couldn’t make it through this show. So dull, but will prolly give it a second go just because of O’Dowd.

Lucky Louie - I LOVED this show, partly because it was really funny and partly because of the 70’s-style sets that made it look like the budget was about $10. Shame it got cancelled so quickly.

Ballers - Entourage with The Rock. Quasi-watchable for a season.

Entourage - bafflingly watchable, probably because it was a bit of a water cooler show before streaming really hit. It was like masturbating - as soon as you’re done you’re like “wtf, I’m never doing that again” and then blammo! Back at it.

The Newsroom - watched every episode and of course as a liberal I agreed with everything but them hammering away so stridently was fucking nauseating.

Vinyl - I could watch Bobby Cannavale act out the phone book and Ray Romano was shockingly good, but the show was ruined by 1. The completely unnecessary Andrew Dice Clay plot line and 2. The Forrest Gumpish “oh look just standing round here we’re running into every NYC punk band from the 70s.”

Dream On - barely remember this as it was so long ago, but I’m surprised how badly it’s ranked here. Was a funny show, there’s WAY worse shows on this list ahead of it.

Movie Comedy Idea

How has no one has written a movie yet about the 2 1/2 hours Michael Collins spent alone in the command module of Apollo 11? 

A Note.

Dear Sitcom Podcasters:

You don’t need to spend your entire podcast merely telling us what happens from scene to scene. We’re listening to your podcast SO WE’VE ALREADY WATCHED IT!!! Your job is to bring some insight/conversation about the episode. 

GRRRRRR.

Sad du Jour

Sadly, it looks like the end may be coming for Monty Python star Terry Jones, who can't speak anymore because of his dementia.

Jones was the Paul McCartney of the group, using his boundless energy to push the group into working relentlessly. Jones also directed the two classic Python movies, Monty Python's Holy Grail and The Life of Brian.