People like to sound smart by pointing out that WWII propelled our economy to unparalleled heights. So why don’t we just recreate it over and over? Build tanks/planes nonstop etc. then blow them up and start over. Just do everything we did from 1941-1945 over and over again in real time. I. AM. A. GENIUS.
One of the most debilitating parts of being poor are food deserts - places in the country without access to grocery stores, depriving them of affordable and nutritious food. Meanwhile, people LOVE food trucks. So why wouldn’t a major shopping chain - even Giant, the absolute worst - build the world’s largest food truck and bring the store to these food deserts? I’m sure they could get a big kickback from the government, and how great would that publicity be? I. AM. A. GENIUS.
Was The Band having a go at us in their song The Weight by naming the central character “Fanny”? In that upon hearing it it’s natural to think “take a load off, Fanny” is “take a load off, Annie”. The f-f consecutive sound seems needlessly confusing; perhaps they did it so they could incredulously scoff at people at dinner parties who sang the chorus? I mean, wtf?
I can’t believe it’s fucking 2019 and the MLB Network still has blackout games. Living near Baltimore as a Yankees fan, this means I can’t watch ONE FIFTH OF THE GODDAM GAMES!!! How does this make sense - in NYC for instance, how many cord cutters are they losing out on because of this ridiculous rule? Why can’t we just simply show that we don’t have cable? This isn’t 1955 when I can simply decide to go to the ballpark and drop $2 for a ticket; nowadays you hafta mortgage you house and show the still-beating heart of your first-born son to go to a game. I can’t believe that in 2019 enough people with money and power (ie, not me) haven’t raised holy hell about this.
I’ve always appreciated how ESPN ludicrously has announcers spend hours pretending to make the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating seem like a real sporting event. But at this point, why not just have actual comedians come and do the broadcast? Imagine a Chris Rock spending the entire time remarking how ridiculous the whole thing is, or Bill Burr excitedly hoping someone chokes to death? Come the fuck in already, ESPN!
One of my favorite scenes of the old show Fame is when it’s this girl’s first day at the school and she nervously goes to the cafeteria for lunch. Already insecure her talent and feeling like she doesn’t belong there, suddenly a full-on jam breaks out with the other kids (see below.) She’s even more overwhelmed by everyone else’s talent and completely crushed. But how great would it be if the next day she walks into the cafeteria for lunch and the same kids break out and perform the exact same jam? She’s like, “wtf...” and then by the end of the week she realizes this is just something these kids do every day - it’s the only song they know - and instead of being intimidate by them she just wants to pull out an Uzi and blow them all away? Ha!
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