Thursday, December 19, 2019

The Office Christmas Specials, Ranked

Vulture did it, so I'm doing it because I'm better. BLAMMO!

A Benihana Christmas - just flat-out one of the best Office episodes, period. Jim's subtle ways of fucking with Dwight at the table are, in a word, sublime. And no way you could get away with Michael's magic marker move today, either.


Dwight Christmas - this being Dwight-centric of course means it gonna be good, and Darryl collapsing on the table is an all-time moment. Also, Dwight being so upset with Jim leaving and then so happy when he returns is just a great, warm moment that shows that after all these years there's more to them than being sworn enemies.


Secret Santa - Michael in the chair lazily tossing out insults to everybody? I mean camon - SOMEwhere there’s gotta be an outtake reel with about 30 more minutes of these!! And if you don't die laughing at "tranny Claus" then you're an idiot.


Christmas Party - the first one, which ratchets up Michael’s boy crush on Ryan. His fury with Phyllis for making him an oven mitt is palpable, and while eventually the Jim & Pam romance would bore us to tears it’s really sweet this early on with the teapot. I've always liked this scene because it reminds us how truly naive/innocent Michael really is. (Sorry for crappy video, best I could find.)


Moroccan Christmas - one of the best cold opens of all time (the desk-wrapped “chair and desk’) and a great side-plot with Dwight and the Unicorn girl doll. Also, it reminds us that as much as a whateverthehell Michael is, he genuinely cares about these people. His concern for Meredith’s alcoholism comes across as very sincere.


Also, this kills me EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.
via GIPHY

Classy Christmas - only here because “Christmas Wishes” is worse. Not very memorable.

Christmas Wishes - Dismal, creepy and too much Andy. Figures they’d blow the first one after Michael left.

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