More Happy Birfday Big Bear

2 more classic bits. Enjoy!

Big Bear Already Understands How the World Works

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

Conversations with a First Grader

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Big Bear Memory du Jour

(walking with Big Bear to pick Cherry Bomb up from school and trying to gauge if we could make it home before it started raining, or if I needed to call for a car service)

Xmastime: how long does it take to get from Cherry Bomb's school to home?
Big Bear: same as it does from home to her school.

Boom!  :)

 Full Xmastime Big compendium HERE.