The Jesus Bee
Today Mamalizza and I took Short Bus, Big Bear and this lunatic to the Botanical Gardens, and when we got there we sat in the middle of the cherry blossoms field so the kids could run around while Mamalizza tried to sober up after slamming a coupla tallboys while driving us (NO judgements here, people!!) Anyways we're all kinda sitting together when from out of nowhere a bee comes walking on the grass right in the middle of us. Not flying, but slowly walking. Again, right in the middle of our circle - as if the bee had thought "hey, this looks like a fun group! What's up guys!" We were all kinda looking at it, "look, a bee, don't get stung" when it all of a sudden it stopped and keeled over. Not moving. We were baffled at why the bee had chosen to die in our midst, and Mamalizza googled the meaning of something like this and, after I kindly pointed out she was "typing" on her hairbrush and not her iPhone (burp), she came up with such an event with a bee meaning the end of a drought is near, which she thoughtfully postulated that the drought was in fact my current stint of not getting any "lady time." Hooray!!! For about 15 minutes we were rejoicing about this, I was looking forward to a long hot summer of stickin, when I guess the bee was so outraged at the thought of me enjoying myself in the boudoire that he decided to extend the drought by coming back to life "oh, HELL no!!" - righting himself and sloooooooooooooooowly walking away. Thanks, asshole.
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