Tuesday, August 04, 2020

Enough of this Kermit & Miss Piggy Crap?

I've always had a special place in my heart for the Muppets, if only for a reason I first mentioned 10 years ago:
Other than Fozzie being a comedic influence I can't really say I grew up on the Muppets any more than anyone else, but as I've mentioned it in this blog several times (although I can't fucking find any of the posts grrr) the highest-level English class I took in college as an English major was Literary Criticism, in which the professor would constantly tie in how, say, The Mimetic Theory, could be applied to The Muppet Movie. It sounds silly 15 years later, but at the time it was always like "...is this guy retarded? what the...oh, shit, look at that. He's right." Bizzare. "How would Aristotle or Pope have interpreted this particular passage from Frankenstein? Okay, let's go to the tape: here's Fozzie and Kermit coming to a fork in the road while driving and..."
Today over at Slate someone's thoughtfully posted that Kermit and Miss Piggy finally break up since they're both terrible together:
Leave aside their anatomical incompatibility, which is oft-joked-about but in the context of felt puppets basically irrelevant. They’re totally mismatched in every other way. She’s a globe-trotting, bestselling author; he’s a homebody who just spends his time sitting around the swamp in the mud. She’s a fashion plate who loves the finer things in life; he’s a nudist. She’s a domestic abuser, and he’s her boss, for crying out loud. What a mess!
Most importantly, they’re emotionally incompatible. One is a closed-off, neurotic commitment-phobe, the other a clingy, psychopathic narcissist. Their relationship began with a very sweet first date—in which not even a rude waiter could dampen their enthusiasm for each other or for sparkling muscatel—but only went downhill from there.
I'll be honest: this shit is tough to argue. Here's is mansplaining until she loses her mind.

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