Emergency Combo Platter

[Del and Rodney enter the doorway of The Golden Lotus, a Chinese restaurant. Del approaches the door, opens it and a cat runs out.]

Del: Oi, don’t let him out…Well that’s going to please Mr Chin innit? 

Rodney: Was it his pet?

Del: No but number 39’s off the menu.

Apparently, the number of Chinese restaurants is dwindling in the United Kingdom:

“When we first started 22 years ago, Chinese food was considered as ‘new’ and ‘exotic’ to people. Current owners need to introduce something new to stay relevant and remind themselves that there’s more competition than ever before.”

We’re now at the stage where we’ve hit peak Chinese restaurants and takeaways: the original restaurant founders are retiring and Chinese food gets a bad rap. It’s considered old fashioned and out of touch with what today’s younger consumers are looking for in a dining experience. There’s a shift in healthy eating and more people embracing a plant-based lifestyle.

“Independent restaurants have seen the biggest decline in numbers. In the last 12 months, there’s been a -3.9 percent decline and much of the Chinese sector is dominated by small family operations. In fact, 97 percent of Chinese restaurants are independent. It feels that there may be an opportunity for the Chinese sector to re-invigorate both food and drink offer in the way some of these new-style Indian restaurants have such as Dishoom and Bundobust.”

But wait!

Despite a drop in the number of Chinese restaurants and takeaways, that doesn’t actually mean that the demand is dropping. “Chinese food continues to be the nation’s favourite takeaway,” says Joe Groves, Head of Consumer Communications at Deliveroo. “We have seen orders rise by 136 percent in the last year.

Either way, this is a great opportunity to laugh at this great scene from a most classic Only Fools and Horses episode, A Touch of Glass:

Del: This is North Korea’s finest porcelain. But our two great cultures have a different attitude towards animals. We are both a nation of dog lovers – the only difference is they love to eat ’em!
Rodney: Do they really eat ’em?
Del: Would I lie to you? If a North Korean came to live in London he’d think that Battersea Dog’s Home was a take-away! No, there’s nothing they like more than a nice plate of poodle kebabs.
Rodney: Oh leave it out will yer!
Del: Or a bull terrier pie. Or sweet ‘an sour greyhound.
Rodney: Oi! – one more word out of you and I’m gonna be sick on your sheepskin, and I mean it! 
Del: Go on, put yer foot down Rodney. I’m starving! I could just go a nice Jack Russell and chips.