Of all the kazillion things from Amazon someone could've stolen from my front door over all these years, the only time it's happened was six years ago today. But it's not as if they just grabbed the package and scurried down the block and then saw what their bounty was. This guy
(OR girl! I am soooo woke, people!!) stopped, opened the package, saw that it was a book of Thomas Hardy poems, was apparently delighted and took the book while leaving the packaging, therein making him
(OR her! I am soooo woke, people!) the most curiously specific thief of all time.
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