Yeah, FUCK the Eagles!

I have a set of working ears that are connected to my brain, so of course I have always HATED The Eagles' dull-ass, boring-as-fuck songs. A few years back it was de riguer for haters like me to wrap themselves in smug satisfaction while their documentary on Showtime confirmed over and over that they were absolute shithead dicks.

But there's something about them - we don't only hate the Eagles, we LOVE hating the Eagles. Most bands I hate I just ignore, but if someone's got a "wanna hear why The Eagles suck?" thought I am IN for listening!

And, according the The Ringer, I am not alone:

The Eagles were a machine built on umbrage and limitless material gain. Unlike many bands who achieve dickishness in escalating proportion to their success, the Eagles seemingly needed no prompting. Almost immediately their grievances were countless. They were mad at the press, their label, their publicists, concert promoters, fellow musicians, and one another.

Tom Scharpling advances this theory about their paper-thin skin: “I think they knew the rap on them the whole time is that they’re these pretty boys who are trading in the mythologies of country music and Americana or whatever you want to call it, but they’re just not legit,” he says. “That crushing insecurity is why they’re dicks.”

An ultimate irony of the Eagles is that they seem never to have fully enjoyed the preternatural consensus-building machine of their songwriting, for want of something like the critical adulation of Springsteen. They were knockoffs. They were deplorables. They took it hard even when they took it easy. Is that really what this was all about: the critics? A measuring contest in monetary and reputational terms with Rolling Stone magazine and the East Coast peers they were convinced received preferential consideration? This comprised the last days of Laurel Canyon?

Now please enjoy Marley reading the lyrics to another shitty Glenn Frey/Don Henley song. Thanks, Marley!