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Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Let's Fix Baseball

Some of the folks over at ESPN have 8 ways to make baseball better, and since I'm so damn nice to you people I'm giving my thoughts on each without, of course, bothering to read their reasoning:

Shorten the season - meh. It's hard to argue that 162 games isn't too long, but I'm too in love with the looooooong, slow, pastoral rhythm of the season. I don't mind the length, even tho I wouldn't freak out if they shortened it (that's not what she said).
Expand and realign the leagues by geography - WHAT? Expansion is something that's killing ALL of the major sports leagues, watering down teams with players who shouldn't be at that level. Vociferous no ON THIS BULLSHIT, FOR SURE. Sorry about caps, not going back to change them even tho typing this apology has taken longer than it would have to do so. Realigning I'm indifferent about.
Add a pitch clock - #1, I don't mind the games are so long. But #2, why do we keep blaming this shit on the pitchers when it's the batters who spend twenty minutes between each pitch stripping down to their jocks and performing their ritualized robot dances? How 'bout telling batters to stay in the freaking box?
Bring in the robo umps - meh. Fucking up a call is part of the game. And can even make something more memorable, in some special cases.
End streaming blackouts and loosen video rights restrictions - YES!!! My #1 "WTF?!?!?!" is how we're in the year 2021 and still have blackout restrictions!! I pay for the MLB package but because of where I happen to live miss out on 20% of the Yankees' games. Do I get a refund for that 20%? NO I DO NOT. This is the most arcane, outdated nonsensical rule around today. For fuck's sake.
Allow the trading of draft picks - don't care
Pay minor leaguers a living wage - the fact that this isn't already a thing should be a fucking embarrassment to these teams.

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