Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Halloween's Razor's Edge

Ah yes, over at Salon we have the first of our annual "look out for razor blades in apples when trick or treating" urban legend bullshit:

Every year, as soon as the weather begins to take on an autumnal chill, the warnings begin: Beware of tainted trick-or-treat candy. The method of purported contamination varies — broken glass, cyanide, drugs, injectable poison, splintered needles — as do the motivations behind why someone would distribute such candy, but parents are cautioned every Halloween to check their children's trick-or-treat buckets.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you roll your beautiful eyes at this nonsense 14 years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful reader, YES I did: 

Does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who actually got the 'ol razor in the apple? Seems like if anyone pulled that on a kid he'd get busted - seriously, if some asshole tried to pass an apple off on you during trick or treating, you'd fucking remember who it was, no? And what kid came home, dumped out his bag of candy on the table and immediately reached over the piles of Snickers and candy corn to shove an APPLE into his mouth? Who's this Poindexter? I would think you'd eventually SEE a razor since by the time you had gorged on your loot the damn thing woulda rotted away. "Oh look, there's a razor in this apple." 

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