The folks over at CRACKED have put together a list of FUNNIEST PERSON TO COME FROM EACH STATE and I will now give my thoughts on each one YOU'RE WELCOME!
Alabama: CRACKED Paula Poundstone ME nothing is funny in Alabama, including Paul Poundstone
Alaska: CRACKED Dan Mintz ME the bear who ate Timothy Treadwell
Arizona: CRACKED David Spade ME Robert Schimmel
Arkansas: CRACKED Matt Besser ME Bill Clinton
California: CRACKED Margaret Cho ME George Carlin
Colorado: CRACKED Tim Allen ME I don't even care about South Park but how can you not pick those guys?
Connecticut: CRACKED Christopher Lloyd ME Norman Lear
Delaware: CRACKED Aubrey Plaza ME Joe Biden
Florida: CRACKED Carrot Top ME I am not dignifying this one with a selection of my own
Georgia: CRACKED Jeff Foxworthy ME David Cross
Hawaii: CRACKED Bette Midler ME Bette Midle over Barack Obama? Wow. Even in Hawaii, White Privilege roars its ugly head.
Idaho: CRACKED George Kennedy ME I've never heard of anyone else from Idaho so okay sure why not
Illinois: CRACKED Richard Pryor ME KILLER group to choose from! Easily the funniest state in the union. You can't go wrong with Pryor but Imma add Garry Shandling here
Indiana: CRACKED David Letterman ME Jim Gaffigan
Iowa: CRACKED Cloris Leachman ME Cloris Leachman
Kansas: CRACKED Paul Rudd ME Jason Sudeikis
Kentucky: CRACKED Steve Zahn ME I love Steve Zahn but wow this is slim pickings. You'd think with them being associated with bourbon they'd be funnier. Quit dicking around with horses all damn day, Kentucky!Louisiana: CRACKED Ellen Degeneres ME Paul Mooney
Maine: CRACKED Andrea Martin ME John Hodgeman
Maryland: CRACKED Lewis Black ME Dave Chappelle Xmastime shout-out to Wayne Federman, who was in not one but two episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm AND wrote a book about Pistol Pete Maravich AND liked one of my Tweets a few years ago!!!
Massachusetts: CRACKED Bo Burnham ME Bill Burr (sorry Gary Gulman you know I love you too!!!) I'm sorry, nothing against Bo Burnham but with the ridiculous depth Massachusetts delivers I'm sniffing out a little bullshit with that pick
Michigan: CRACKED Gilda Radner ME You'll excuse me if I find it impossible to believe that a city with such a deep African-American history as Detroit hasn't had anybody as funny as Gilda Radner in the last 50 years???!!!!!
Minnesota: CRACKED Louis Anderson ME Paul Westerberg's liner notes from Sorry Ma
Mississippi: CRACKED Tig Notaro ME Oliver Platt when filming A Time to Kill
Missouri: CRACKED Redd Foxx ME Redd Foxx, dummy!
Montana: CRACKED Dana Carvey ME Dana Carvey
Nebraska: CRACKED Johnny Carson ME Dick Cavett
Nevada: CRACKED Dawn Wells ME oh FFS Nevada you're just fucking embarrassing
New Hampshire: CRACKED Sarah Silverman ME Sarah Silverman
New Jersey: CRACKED Abbott & Costello ME Abbott & Costello
New Mexico: CRACKED Neil Patrick Harris ME jesus this is almost as bad as Nevada! Except how funny it is that on a list of funny people from New Mexico Marc Maron doesn't score better than Neil Patrick Harris or the guy most famous for being married to Susanna Hoffs and we all know that any dude married to a chick that hot simply cannot be very funny
New York: CRACKED Eddie Murphy ME Jerry Seinfeld
North Carolina: CRACKED Zack guy from The Hangover ME Zack guy from The Hangover
North Dakota: CRACKED Chuck Klosterman ME well it's either him or Roger Marris so I reckon it's him (ps - I love Klosterman, he is the best podcast guest going)
Ohio: CRACKED Dave Chappelle ME Drew Carey everybody knows Chappelle lives in Ohio but nobody thinks of him as being "from" there
Oklahoma: CRACKED Bill Hader ME Bill Hader
Oregon: CRACKED Matt Groening ME Matt Groening
Pennsylvania: CRACKED Kevin Hart ME Bill Cosby [NOTE FOR MARLEY: no apologies]
Rhode Island: CRACKED The Farrelly Brothers ME The Farrelly Brothers
South Carolina: CRACKED Chris Rock ME Aziz Ansari sorry Cracked but nobody thinks of Chris Rock as being from, or ever having visited, South Carolina
South Dakota: CRACKED n/a ME n/a
Tennessee: CRACKED Chris Parnell ME Davy Crockett
Texas: CRACKED Steve Martin ME Mike Judge
Utah: CRACKED Roseanne ME Roseanne
Vermont: CRACKED Damon Wayans Jr. ME Damon Wayans whenever he visits his very non-funny son in Vermont
Virginia: CRACKED Patton Oswalt ME Xmastime
Washington: CRACKED Sam Kinison ME Marshall Faulk
West Virginia: CRACKED Steve Harvey ME I assume there's plenty of funny people in WVa and I have no desire to find them
Wisconsin: CRACKED Chris Farley ME Ralph Malph
Wyoming: CRACKED Jim J Bullock ME nobody cares
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