Today's "Republicans are Repulsive but Let's Just Get This Shit Out of the Way So I Can Have a Goddam Saturday" Post (Special Jan. 6 Committee Edition)

Look, all we know for sure about the Republicans risking their own integrity and legacy defending Trump is that of course he will always fiercely return their loyalty.

 

I’m glad it didn’t happen but Republicans defending their Dear Lord Trump publicly executing Mike Pence on Jan. 6 really would be their magnum opus of bullsh*t.

 

All we know for sure about the Jan 6 committee is that the more obvious it is Trump's guilty the more the media will twist itself into knots desperately trying to frame everything as both-sideism (you know, that left-wing media that's "out to get!" Trump) and because of this we'll be watching the same scene unfold again very soon, but much much worse. MAGA, indeed.

 

"Ivanka? Ivanka Trump? Not sure I've really heard of her, I think she was part of the campaign for a few days, brought some coffee to a meeting once, I'm not sure."

 

I guess this is just gonna be the new Republican version of “when I was a kid my dad took me hunting blah blah blah so yeah tough shit if anyone else gets shredded to ribbons with an AR-15”? Great. MAGA indeed.

Be nice to a Republican if you see one today, turns out they might not get to tax poor Americans as much as they'd like. Sad!

Thoughts and prayers:

 

Are Republicans worried that if assault rifles were banned tomorrow then all of their voters would suddenly vote for Rosie O’Donnell instead? Based on Republicans I know personally they’ll whine and bitch about it for a while, and then dutifully sprint to the polls to vote for the same Republican politicians who were so stupidly worried in the first place.

 

"Responsible gun owners are fed up with the Second Amendment being abused and hijacked by some deranged individuals."— Uvalde, Texas native and gun owner Matthew McConaughey

Umm, they're not. "Responsible" gun owners are the reason we're in this place we're at; "responsibly" insisting that children be able to buy AR-15s with their Happy Meals because they're scared of the government "taking their guns". I've never heard any responsible drivers demanding people be allowed to guzzle a bottle of vodka while driving out of fear the government will take away their cars. People are killed every day because of "responsible" gun owners, and its not stopping anytime soon as long as they're so busy being "responsible".