Over the millions of trips on Amtrak I’ve taken over the years I think I’m finally started to crack the code re: what they’re saying when they break in with the loudest PA system on Earth ever invented by the human race. I mean ffs part of the reason The Beatles quit touring in 1966 is that the sound equipment needed to fill a stadium full of screaming people wasn’t available; had they had their eight arms to hold you on whatever system Amtrak’s got today then I’m pretty sure they’d still be touring stadiums today.
ANYway, from what I can tell, most of what these Amtrak people are screaming – sorry, quietly reminding us – about is to NOT leave anything we brought onto the train behind on the train. A few minutes from each stop the panicked shouting over the loudspeakers begins, “BEFORE LEAVING THE TRAIN PLEASE LOOK AROUND AND TAKE ANY PERSONAL ITEMS PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE TRAIN WITHOUT YOUR ITEMS PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ANYTHING BEHIND ON THE TRAIN WHEN YOU LEAVE.” To the point now I’m wondering, was there some serious incident at some point? I mean it’s not like the “see something, say something” NYC subway campaign where the thinking is that if someone leaves something, they’re leaving a bomb. The insanely loud voices screaming on the Amtrak mention things such as jackets, bags, food items etc. Was there some incident at some point in time during which someone left something behind – a book perhaps, or a jacket maybe – that sent the train company into such a tailspin that they’ve dramatically declared decided, “Never again!!…not on MY watch!!!” Were people just sprinting off the train the second it stopped, screaming “all my personal items be damned!!!”?
Dafuck, Amtrak?
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