Pizza being pizza I have probably pumped out about 190,000 words on the goddam subject on these pages, apparently I waited a full 8 days into the lifetime of this blog before mentioning it for the first time (5th-ever post!); ironically, it was under the guise of chatting about tacos:
6) TACO NIGHT - I think I like tacos so much because to me, they're like a mini buffet. Spread out in front of you you got the meat, the cheese, the beans. Well, lettuce & tomato if there's a chick there and you wanna impress. Stuff the taco with so much meat that there's no way possible the taco can even pretend to hold together. Actually, scratch that, use lettuce & tomato - more filler for everyone else to use, leaving more meat/cheese for yourself! Makes me think of my high school girlfriend - we'd go to Pizza Hut, where we'd order breadsticks for an appetizer. I'd be Mr. Cool Guy and insist on letting her eat all the sticks she wanted (this was before PH came out with the good ones; back then they were like fucking pretzel sticks. ugh.) By the time the pizza comes, she's stuffed! All the pie I could eat, sitting there for me. Course the joke's on me -I gained 100 pounds, sleep with a teddy bear who's a right-wing fanatic while she's happily married. Ah well. Speaking of Pizza Hut, who's the fucking wizard that came up with that fucking dessert pizza I'd always see at the buffet? You gotta be kidding me. Every time I'd go up for seconds/thirds/nineteenths/ I'd hafta wait for the real pizzas to come out while this fucking thing sat there. There's no way they didn't just trot out the same one every week, too. "oooooh, pizza....hmmm...I'm thinking jam with cinnamon icing! yum!" fuck you. Is this really what the Chinese were thinking of when they invented pizza? camon.
Me when some skinny mofo takes the bigger of the last two slices of pizza:
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