Lunch Problems

For about a month now, 3 consecutive days every week I go down to my building’s cafeteria and walk the same lunch lady through the same sandwich: turkey & cheddar on sourdough, crunchy lettuce, tomatoes & mayo and then please toast the whole thing. It took a while but I FINALLY got to where when I said lettuce she reached for my preferred crunchy lettuce instead of the lump, crappy other lettuces.

Meanwhile, I’ve been griping that they put way too much meat on the sandwiches. Seriously, they must just pile the turkey on until their arms get tired. I usually take about half the slices out of my sandwich the second I sit down. I don’t love wasting food but what can I do? Well...I guess I could just eat the goddam turkey and be grateful like

So standing in line earlier, it dawned on me you know what, why not just get the sandwich without the turkey? Meatless….these kind of sandwiches do exist, right? I patted myself on the back, rehearsed my sandwich order in my head, then stepped up to the plate - but before I could open my mouth, my usual sandwich lady looks up at me and says, for the first time ever:

“The usual?”

So long story slightly shorter, I am now stuck with the exact same sandwich order until the Earth collapses into the Sun.