Saturday, April 08, 2023

Surely Sir, This Means War

Over at the Steam Room, Sir Charles and Ben Affleck had a short debate over which donuts are better, Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts. You can guess who took which side.

But me this isn't even a debate in that it's like comparing apples & oranges, with each place offering two distinct things. At Krispy Kreme, there is one donut and one donut only: the signature Krispy Kreme glazed donut that starts melting in your mouth before it's even there, and the closer to the moment it's jumped free from the crazy oil river they let you watch them on, the better. That's the only donut anyone cares about at Krispy Kreme - who the hell walks into one & starts looking at the menu "hmmm, what do they have here?" Nobody on Planet Earth has ever said "yeah I super duper LOVE Krispy Kreme, but not the glazed donut." What? Yes, I know they technically have other options, but like most people I don't really care and if all those disappeared KK would continue going on just fine.

But at Dunkin, you have dozens of different options to choose from; while some of course are more to your personal liking, they're all varying in degrees of goodness but you can't really go too far with most of them (except coconut, the devil's oven mitts...eff you, coconut!!) I'm perfectly fine saying the KK glazed tops them all, but this variety of selection vs. a determined lack of variety means these are just two completely different donuts, and any debate - while tasty! - is pointless.

All that said, I am more than happy to participate in any and all Krispy Kreme vs. Dunkin competitions 🤗

[SIDE NOTE: DUNKIN, THIS ISN'T FOR YOU, JUST KRISPY KREME, YOU MAY LEAVE....ARE THEY GONE? DUNKIN'S LEFT THE ROOM? OKAY KRISPY KREME, LISTEN UP: for the right amount of cheddar, my nephew & I would be more than happy to shill for you!! 🤗]

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