A Few Thoughts on the Coronation

It's insane to think this hasn't happened in 70 years; I just read - sorry, overheard some stranger say it on television - that approximately 1% of Britons are old enough to actually remember the last Coronation.

I mean this is the first Coronation since before Coronation Street debuted 60+ years ago, no?

There hasn't been an English King since Harry Truman was in office.

I'll be honest - I spent most of the time fantasizing about the same event happening but instead of outrageous stuffy British people following a guide from a thousand years old it's a black Southern Baptist church, meaning that whenever in the future you've happened upon this post it will still be happening.

You can have a kid who will live to 80, and there's a good chance the King at the time of their death was on your tv screen this morning.

Speaking of which, it's both surprising and really cool how many kids are a part of the whole thing, including Prince George himself. It speaks to both the humanity of it all as well as acknowledging the future.

"I'm gonna need you to wrap this %@$&*! up; new season of Bluey is dropping at noon."

When you show up without a +1 AND find out there's no taco bar:

I'm always working, always hustling:

Hey, it's not my fault it's been 70 years & you're still not off book!

2 quirks within the line of succession led to 130+ of the last 190 years having a Queen rule as monarch; who knows now when we will see one again? 

Your buddy Xmastime WAS Prince Louie in a church back at that age 🤣

Yeah...no one else is singing, idiot.

Aaaaaaaand staring at God isn't gonna make this shit go any faster, kid.

“I don’t care, you’re still not getting my Netflix password.”

Question...

 

...aaaaaaaaaaaand answer.

Seeing your friends off to Chuck E. Cheese without you. 😢

No idea who this guy is...

OH wait I think I do.

You know you're rich af when you have a backup Camilla and then a backup for your backup Camilla.

"Theeeeeeeeeeeese..................nuts. Done."

Of course I love all this royal crown shit, but in the end I plead allegiance one king only: