Whilst (that's right you fucking rubes, whilst) living above a Wegmans over the lat year I've bought and drank a certain gallon of blueberry ice (iced?) tea approximately 9,000 times. Meanwhile, I've been carrying a ten dollar bill around in my hip pocket since Halley's fucking Comet without being able to unload it.
Until now.
I realized knowing that one jug of tea costing $4.25 meant 2 jugs cost $8.50, meaning the only physical change I'd get back would be a nicely tight, small group of just a dollar bill and 2 quarters, which I could easily shed in a day or two...or just chuck them out the window because who gives a goddam, it's not like it's a tenner. I grabbed two big ol' jugs of my cherished ice (iced?) tea and went to stand in a cashier's line (no self-check with cash grrrrrrrr), lightly rocking back & forth on my heels while patting myself on the back for the whole get-back-a-minimum-of-change-shit brilliance I'd thought of & clucking my teeth with how well-pleased I was with myself.
BUT.
I hadn't realized that my cherished ice (iced?) tea is on special going 2 for $6, so of course long story long after all my brilliance I got back 3 dollar bills and 97 cents in change which I believe science would agree with me here is the maximum amount of coins you can ever get in the thing we call life.
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