The Fall of the House of Usher Blues

Since it's October I allowed my interest to briefly be piqued by word of a new Netflix series based on The Fall of the House of Usher - one of the few Edgar Allen Poe short stories to earn a rousing score back during my glorious EAP-filled spooooooooooooooooky October 2020 - but I quickly see it's some updated, modern version blah blah blah that I'm *guessing* will be more concerned with being flashy mcflasherson than being scary.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "are you saying you're pretty much 1000000% sure it will suck compared to the ridiculously scary movie version you saw as a kid?

Sigh. Yes I am, faithful readers, YES I am:

I remember coming home from church one time, I reckon near Halloween, and my brother, father and I landed on some random made-for-tv version. I believe it was 1982, which would make me ten years old.

I have never, ever been so scared in my life - I literally BEGGED my dad and brother to turn the channel - even offering them money!! Gee, what good times...apparently I had disposable income to throw around. I mean, I was terrified. And I couldn't leave - no WAY was I gonna go be by myself. And mind you, this was at about one o'clock in the afternoon. Broad daylight.