#XOTD2009 (This Still Bugs the Fuck Outta Me BTW)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Perplexing

Big Bear has a birthday coming up soon, which makes me think about when he was born, and the fact that it gave birth (sic) to what I still think was my greatest moment, yet got ZERO LAUGHS.

Minutes after he was born, his pop brought him out to meet us all. Blah blah blah. Then the two of them got on an elevator to go downstairs. For something, I have no idea what. There were maybe 10 of us, and we're all just kinda standing there watching them get on the elevator, and about 2 minutes later we're all still standing there, chatting or whatever, and the elevator door opens. And standing there is some kid, looks to be about 10 or 12. Everybody's just kinda standing there looking at him, and finally I say "Jesus christ...how the fuck long have we been standing here?"

ZERO LAUGHS!!! My greatest line ever, nuthin. ZERO!!!!

And yet every single time I buy beer or liquor, the clerk says "Have a good night" and, almost as an impulse at this point, I say "I will now." And it's a guaranteed laugh. If I've done that one 500 times, it's gotten 500 laughs.

Hmm. Life, eh? A big ol bag of nuts.