/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } #navbar-iframe { display: none !important; height: 0 !important; visibility: hidden !important; } #navbar-iframe -->

Saturday, May 04, 2024

What Amtrak Announcements Should Be vs. What They Are

(I won't even bother with telling you to read this in an extremely loud, piercing shrill voice thru the worst loudspeaker of its generation.)

WHAT THEY SHOULD BE:
Attention Amtrak passengers, train #82 will be delayed.

WHAT THEY ARE: Attention Amtrak passengers, train #82, starting in Boston and making all stops South including Provincetown, Springfield, Hartford, New York, Washington, DC, Roanoke, Richmond, Norfolk, Newport News and Virginia Beach, scheduled to leave at 9:59am from Washington DC, Union Station, scheduled to board 15 minutes before leaving Washington DC, starting in Boston and making all stops South including Provincetown, Springfield, Hartford, New York, Washington, DC, Roanoke, Richmond, Norfolk, Newport News and Virginia Beach, scheduled to leave at 9:59am from Washington DC, Union Station, scheduled to board 15 minutes before leaving Washington DC, will be delayed.

WHAT THEY SHOULD BE: This next stop will be Alexandria, in about 2 minutes. Please don’t forget your belongings.

WHAT THEY ARE: The next stop will be Alexandria, Alexandria, next stop. Before you leave the train look around your seat, first to your left and then to your right, or first to your right and then to your left, and take any belongings you brought on board the train today, make sure your laptop is in its bag, make sure to collect all jackets and clothing you may have with you, remember to look extra hard if any of your belongings may be a certain color so as to blend into the seat and make you not see it, once again the next stop will be Alexandria, Alexandria, next stop, don’t forget to hit pause on any videos you’re playing before closing down your computers, if you had pants when you got on the train please have them while leaving the train, do not sprint off the train the second we stop without even glancing in the general direction of your seat or the rack above you to make sure you’ve grabbed all of your belongings, once again the next stop will be Alexandria, Alexandria next stop, take any belongings you brought on board the train today and thank you for choosing Amtrak today.

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