Father's Day-ish, Cont.

I know this whole “dumb ol’ dad!” stuff is played for laughs, but since the article itself is all about how GOOD of a Dad this guy is, all they’ve done is belie the point since 99% of the people even seeing it wouldn't click through to read the article (I only did enough to get a sense of it so I could spray my opinions on you people) and therein would do nothing but continue to push forward the “goofy dumb dad” narrative.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point this phenomenon out years ago in your genre-shifting, Earth-moving debut novel?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

I could sense everyone was starting to get annoyed at Chuck’s barking and wanted to give me dirty looks, but this was one of those times when it actually paid to be a guy. A mother would be expected to nonchalantly juggle four kids on her lap while knitting winter caps and handing out juice boxes, and if one of those kids so much as let out a peep everyone would get bitchy and roll their eyes, thinking “control your damn kids!” 

But a man with a baby? Hell, everyone was mildly surprised I’d been able to put pants on the kid before bringing him outside the house, much less take him anywhere on the train. I’d put on my harangued, beleaguered “oh my god I’m so helpless” face, and everyone gave me a pass. 

“Poor bastard,” they’d think, “look at him, doing his best. God bless him. And where the hell is the mother? That bitch!” 

I perfected my “woe is me” act the same way other guys practiced their air guitar moves: in front of the bathroom mirror. And when it came to putting on this little show I was, simply put, the best. - READ MORE WILLIAMSBURG RATS: A MANNY'S TOUR OF DUTY