OH FFS Already

HOW THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO THINK THE WORLD WORKS:

(Guy orders a porterhouse at Peter Luger's)

WAITER: I'm sorry but the chef has informed me the porterhouse isn't available today.
GUY: Oh, I guess I'll just have whatever's in the toilet bowl right now then.
WAITER: Great, I'll be be back with your drink order.