ME, YESTERDAY: It’d be amazing if Trump was smart enough to spin his assassination attempt into a Christmas morning Ebeneezer Scrooge sitch, joyfully proclaiming his brush with death has changed him and he dedicates his presidency to selflessly making ALL American’s lives better, to magnificent results, and after 77 years of being one of the worst humans in memory, he goes down as the greatest American of all time....
ME, AFTER SEENG MAYBE 30 SECONDS OF THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION LAST NIGHT: okay yeah, so none of that's gonna happen.
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