Sunday, August 18, 2024

Courtroom Draw Deez Nuts

Oh look here's someone looking to make a buncha $crillah from being a courtroom sketch artist:
In precise, often lyrical prose, Rosenberg reflects on a career at the intersection of art and law, fact and impression, reason and emotion. As captivating and nuanced as the drawings themselves are the descriptions of her creative process — beginning with the “foundational black lines” of her pastel pencil, “geometric shapes that will become faces, limbs and features,” adding color and highlights until “a body emerges, as if appearing through fog”
Okay I can't put you people through this anymore pretending like I give a good goddam about any of that so let me get straight to

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you call bullshit on the whole courtroom sketch artist industry all the way back in 2009?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

What's up with courtroom drawings? What the fuck are these for? Anything else in the world we take pictures, or video even. We have pictures of other galaxies. Everything is a matter of public record. And yet whenever there's an article about anything from inside our hallowed halls of justice, it's accompanied by a Peanuts cartoon. What the fuck?

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