There's a Guy Works Down the Wegman Swears He's Elvis

Tonight at Wegmans I happened to sing along with the words "fuck you!" to whatever song I was listening to as I turned the corner into the cereal aisle and found myself almost face to face with a young couple staring at me from about six feet away so I instantly pretended I was talking to someone on my phone and just happened to be barraging that someone with a hail of "and fuck that guy too, and them too and definitely her and ..." and dear readers if you think for one second I don't believe I did the right thing then you are out of your goddam mind.