Worries. I Have Them.

Most of my friends all started having kids at generally around the same time so at some point they're all gonna pop their heads up outta the sand to see what they've been missing out on for 2 decades & now I’m starting to panic a little bit that they’re looking at me, their lone single friend throughout all that time, to lead them back into the midnight coolness as if I've been this motherfucker all that time...

...they will all be, in a word, quite disappointed.