You Are Freaking Me Out Now, Apple

Nine days ago, I mentioned how strangely fresh an apple in my fruit bowl was looking:

Ever since Super Size Me first came out everybody wants to push some crazy story about how fake the Big Mac is based on it supposedly never rotting away - "OMG Ben Franklin put a Big Mac on his counter and now just two weeks ago the fucking thing learned how to drive a stick shift!!!" - but meanwhile I bought this apple so many weeks ago I can’t remember when and it looks the exact same as when I bought it. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Here's that apple then:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand here's that same apple right now:

🤔🤷‍♂️