The other day I was sitting on a park bench, just chillin’ like a Bobby Dylan’ & mindin’ my own, when a lanternfly landed on my knee (no, it wasn't this one). I casually flicked it (how else does one flick, really?) off my knee and it easy-as-you please landed on the ground & started walking around & so I stopped giving a shit and went back to staring at my phone with my mouth wide open…which, ironically, is what insects like to fly in to.
A few minutes later I felt something moving on the back of my neck & slapped at it, causing it to fly away while revealing itself to be a lanternfly, about which I felt a rage building in me “is this the same motherfucker I just dealt with, now this fucking asshole’s attacking me? Trying to strangle me????!!?!!”
Of course all of this lasted about half as long as it just did for you to read it and the lanternfly moseyed away and we haven’t really seen each other since and if anybody wants to tell it that I’m not really looking for it then well I’m not gonna be the one to stop them.
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